Yesterday at noon I snuck into a call room with two of my close friends, logged in to the National Residency Matching Program website, and to my shear pleasure, found out that I "matched" at the University of Louisville (where I am currently) for my critical care fellowship. I know many of you do not know what this means..... basically, I have six months left of pediatric residency. If I stopped there, I would be a general peds doctor. However, I want to work in the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) and to do so, I must do three more years of training. Glutton for punishment? Maybe.
Nevertheless, I could not be more excited. First, I have a husband that will support me through five to seven calls per month for next three years, love me even when I am not lovable, and be both a mother and father at times... (And calls do not mean I sleep at home and answer a pager... I wish. I spend the night in the hospital and he is home). Second, I love this city and the friends that I have made here and are staying here. Third, I could not be luckier to be educated by an intimidatingly intelligent and challenging group of faculty.
Yet, I am so scared....that I do not know enough, won't be good enough, can not balance work and family.... and at the same time, so ready to learn more, challenge myself even more.
Frankly, I am just so blessed. Erica took me out for Thai food the night before. My friend Sarah brought me breakfast on match day as well as had cookies ready after it was final. Kasey and Heather brought me cards (because they know of my love of cards). My boys sent me flowers. My medical student made butterscotch brownies since I am the only person who buys the butterscotch Lifesavers and she had hear about it. I was flooded with texts and Facebook messages. My nursing friends on the med-surg floor bought me great Mexican food and we had a little fiesta. Shreep bought me a diet coke (very crucial and thoughtful!). I was on call after the match so JT took my post call day off....we took the boys to a doc appt, had brunch at Wild Eggs, watched the movie Lincoln, and finished up the boys Christmas. I am overly loved, if you will.
I mean, it was just a great time. Some would say "well why make such a big deal, especially if you were kind of, sorta sure you would match there?" A good friend even said as much. That is valid, I guess. But it is a life changer. A big decision. A big day. And I appreciate those who went out of their way to make my day special and made me feel loved.
So there it is. We are staying here in Louisville, at least until June 2016 that is!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Thankful
It is the eleventh day of November...orphan awareness month, the month of Thanksgiving. As the month has marched on the past eleven days, I have read Facebook status after status of the things people are thankful for. It is interesting, for numerous reasons, to see for what people are thankful. I have not participated in this, though I don't disagree with the concept, but it really has made me consider what I am thankful for.
I mean, I guess what we are thankful for, in it's most deconstructed definition...are the things that make our life better. Yes, in my opinion, this can be both good and bad. I am thankful for the crappy MCAT score in 2005 because otherwise I would not have made the friends I did at Ross and been on the path to being a pediatric intensivist... I am thankful that I did not get pregnant when I wanted to because of the beautiful sons I have now, for the other children that have been adopted as a result, for racial divides that have been crossed....
Yet when I really think about the things I am most thankful for, even the seemingly bad things, are people. Don't get me wrong, I am "thankful" for the THINGS that make life better.....iPhones and chocolate and 90s music and nice stationary and clean water and my health and Disney movies and diet coke and my down comforter and good pizza and a quality ink pen and my hair after a salon day and Reef flip flops and ice cream and ceiling fans and any kind of dip and perfume and journals and Christmas decorations and my yoga pants.... even the "things" which I value most....the things you run into fire for, that do not have a value on a homeowners policy... all of these are tied to people.....For instance, my blue quilt and handmade corduroy bear were made by grandma who is long gone or Christmas traditions because my mom handed them down or my dad's US Navy dog tags or my dad's family cookbook or photographs, each with their own story.
I am thankful for a husband who more than tolerates me, more than loves me but does laundry and is both mom and dad more days than not and likes to mop floors and even though he gets mad at drive thrus once a week, which speaks to my cooking and yet another reason he loves me too much, he is integral. For him I am thankful... For my mom for teaching to give, to celebrate, to have fun.... and my dad for work ethic and refusal to give up.... and my sister for reminding me not to take myself too seriously....For my in laws and their love of me and my family and encouraging me and helping with our kids. Daniel and Denise who think are children hung the moon as they throw things across the room.
For my dear dear friends.... Emily for being steadfast and so different from me that it works and Jacqueline for making me demand more of myself and Sarah for a glimpse to my past and Erica for just being easy and the endless ramblings that are comfortable as if we have always been friends.... For Heather in her love for my family and being just like JT and both getting and pretending to appreciate my card obsessions. And Taryn who loves my boys and is here at a moments notice with coffee and babysitting, even when she would rather be at a Kappa Delta function. For Eunice and Paige and their role in my becoming who I am as a doctor....for not letting me sell myself short. For Erin, who continues to be both a mentor and friend to me...and Kate for seeing in me something before I saw it in myself. For Brittney who has seen me through 2 adoptions and loves me despite my inability to contribute any food to any party we have. And Amy for her open door policy and lack of judgment and forgiveness of foul language and telling me I am smart when I am anything but. My other Britney, who loves me, even when I do not pluck my eyebrows or get my hair cut on time. These people, and others along the way that I am clearly leaving out....they are the real reason life is better. They are the real reason to be thankful.
You see, I have stopped finding it coincidental when I meet someone who changes my life a little or a lot....I have stopped standing in awe when I can connect the dots to how and why I met a person and how it changes my life, the course of my future, and makes the future make sense. I believe God uniquely and purposefully orchestrated each relationship, each encounter, and we should all take them a little more seriously.
Days 1-30 of Month of Thankfulness: I am thankful for my people.
(even if I did not list you by name, please don't think it doesn't matter.... I promise you do.)
I mean, I guess what we are thankful for, in it's most deconstructed definition...are the things that make our life better. Yes, in my opinion, this can be both good and bad. I am thankful for the crappy MCAT score in 2005 because otherwise I would not have made the friends I did at Ross and been on the path to being a pediatric intensivist... I am thankful that I did not get pregnant when I wanted to because of the beautiful sons I have now, for the other children that have been adopted as a result, for racial divides that have been crossed....
Yet when I really think about the things I am most thankful for, even the seemingly bad things, are people. Don't get me wrong, I am "thankful" for the THINGS that make life better.....iPhones and chocolate and 90s music and nice stationary and clean water and my health and Disney movies and diet coke and my down comforter and good pizza and a quality ink pen and my hair after a salon day and Reef flip flops and ice cream and ceiling fans and any kind of dip and perfume and journals and Christmas decorations and my yoga pants.... even the "things" which I value most....the things you run into fire for, that do not have a value on a homeowners policy... all of these are tied to people.....For instance, my blue quilt and handmade corduroy bear were made by grandma who is long gone or Christmas traditions because my mom handed them down or my dad's US Navy dog tags or my dad's family cookbook or photographs, each with their own story.
I am thankful for a husband who more than tolerates me, more than loves me but does laundry and is both mom and dad more days than not and likes to mop floors and even though he gets mad at drive thrus once a week, which speaks to my cooking and yet another reason he loves me too much, he is integral. For him I am thankful... For my mom for teaching to give, to celebrate, to have fun.... and my dad for work ethic and refusal to give up.... and my sister for reminding me not to take myself too seriously....For my in laws and their love of me and my family and encouraging me and helping with our kids. Daniel and Denise who think are children hung the moon as they throw things across the room.
For my dear dear friends.... Emily for being steadfast and so different from me that it works and Jacqueline for making me demand more of myself and Sarah for a glimpse to my past and Erica for just being easy and the endless ramblings that are comfortable as if we have always been friends.... For Heather in her love for my family and being just like JT and both getting and pretending to appreciate my card obsessions. And Taryn who loves my boys and is here at a moments notice with coffee and babysitting, even when she would rather be at a Kappa Delta function. For Eunice and Paige and their role in my becoming who I am as a doctor....for not letting me sell myself short. For Erin, who continues to be both a mentor and friend to me...and Kate for seeing in me something before I saw it in myself. For Brittney who has seen me through 2 adoptions and loves me despite my inability to contribute any food to any party we have. And Amy for her open door policy and lack of judgment and forgiveness of foul language and telling me I am smart when I am anything but. My other Britney, who loves me, even when I do not pluck my eyebrows or get my hair cut on time. These people, and others along the way that I am clearly leaving out....they are the real reason life is better. They are the real reason to be thankful.
You see, I have stopped finding it coincidental when I meet someone who changes my life a little or a lot....I have stopped standing in awe when I can connect the dots to how and why I met a person and how it changes my life, the course of my future, and makes the future make sense. I believe God uniquely and purposefully orchestrated each relationship, each encounter, and we should all take them a little more seriously.
Days 1-30 of Month of Thankfulness: I am thankful for my people.
(even if I did not list you by name, please don't think it doesn't matter.... I promise you do.)
"Let me be grateful to people who make me happy; they are the charming gardeners
who make our souls blossom "
- Macel Proust
Family Pics
Here is a screen shot of a few of them.... we get the CD this week. We love Elizabeth at Lizzie Loo. She did our family pics when Tedi came home, so it was only appropriate for her to do these. I will post more when we get them!!!!!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Would you?
Would you adopt? Would you if it did not cost so much money? Would you if you did not have to answer questions about them being "your own" or about your sex life and it's ability to produce a child? Would you adopt if you were not afraid of what your family or friends would think? Would you adopt if you knew they would be "normal"? Would you adopt if it was easy? Would you adopt a toddler or older child if you were not worried they had trauma in the past....that they wouldn't affect your 'own' kids? Would you adopt if you were not afraid?
Take moment. Would you?
Take moment. Would you?
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Handwriting and Kevin Bacon
On the evening of the election, I will speak NOTHING about the election.
I have written about it many times but I have a weakness of giving cards and receiving them.. not emails, not facebook messages, not texts...but the real deal. I often feel they go wasted and unappreciated but at the same time, the pleasure and happiness I have in picking out each one for each specific person is worth it if there is a slight bit of joy brought to the other person. Very few people seem to enjoy them, and that is fine. However, a couple of weeks ago as I sat up in the hospital waiting listen to a kid after a breathing treatment, I found my self flipping through the medically sound magazine of PEOPLE.... You know the last page of the magazine usually has a quick bio story of a star? Well, this random one featured Kevin Bacon (as I typed his name, I realized how weird it is to have the last name Bacon).... I read this little bit in his article and felt VALIDATED by the Footloose protagonist....
"My favorite thing in the world is to receive postcards from friends. And I trave a lot, so I send them back. It may be old-fashioned, but when I see someone's handwriting, it's like a little piece of them. And I always love it."
I feel the same way about the handwriting bit but just feel too cheesy and self conscious to admit it. I loved seeing my mom sign her name growing up. I feel a sense of comfort seeing either of my parents' writing on a piece of mail. JT thinks I am crazy when I do not want to put a return address on a piece of mail. I, however, find it exciting to guess who cards and letters are from. I know you are shocked I had a pen pal in elementary school.
Anyhow, if you send me a card or letter or postcard, rest assured it is being saved and treasured, regardless of how insignificant the occasion or as meaningless as you may think....it is in my "card box" that my friend Erica designated in our last move for the collection! She said it was a little out of control... every one of them means a lot.
I have written about it many times but I have a weakness of giving cards and receiving them.. not emails, not facebook messages, not texts...but the real deal. I often feel they go wasted and unappreciated but at the same time, the pleasure and happiness I have in picking out each one for each specific person is worth it if there is a slight bit of joy brought to the other person. Very few people seem to enjoy them, and that is fine. However, a couple of weeks ago as I sat up in the hospital waiting listen to a kid after a breathing treatment, I found my self flipping through the medically sound magazine of PEOPLE.... You know the last page of the magazine usually has a quick bio story of a star? Well, this random one featured Kevin Bacon (as I typed his name, I realized how weird it is to have the last name Bacon).... I read this little bit in his article and felt VALIDATED by the Footloose protagonist....
"My favorite thing in the world is to receive postcards from friends. And I trave a lot, so I send them back. It may be old-fashioned, but when I see someone's handwriting, it's like a little piece of them. And I always love it."
I feel the same way about the handwriting bit but just feel too cheesy and self conscious to admit it. I loved seeing my mom sign her name growing up. I feel a sense of comfort seeing either of my parents' writing on a piece of mail. JT thinks I am crazy when I do not want to put a return address on a piece of mail. I, however, find it exciting to guess who cards and letters are from. I know you are shocked I had a pen pal in elementary school.
Anyhow, if you send me a card or letter or postcard, rest assured it is being saved and treasured, regardless of how insignificant the occasion or as meaningless as you may think....it is in my "card box" that my friend Erica designated in our last move for the collection! She said it was a little out of control... every one of them means a lot.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Rice Krispies....Nickleback....Pinterest....
Here I am... standing in the kitchen, slinging my purse over my shoulder heading to work when Tedi says,
"What snacks are you bringing to my Halloween party?"
Let's be honest....That question really means "are you as cool as the other moms?" At least that is how it felt. I was able to get out of work early and run to the store. I thought...well I had seen these things are on Pinterest, I surely could make this. "This" being these little things....
So cute, right? Thank you Pinterest for again making me domestically incapable and a maternal failure! I appreciate it. When cooking, I need specific instructions....ie..." Let them cool for X amount of time before rolling them into pumpkin-esque shapes." Well, in my haste after work to get from work to the store to "baking" (if making rice krispies really is that) and then to Chernet's doctor's appointment and trick or treating, I did not realize that I was not able to allow for cooling time. Thus, every time I attempted to roll these, they fell apart in my hand.... So I laid it all out on the pizza tray and realized...I will just turn this into a pumpkin and let the teacher cut it.... and this is what we got...yes, a bit more scary than the happy Pinterest version.....
I wish it got easier from here.... So I throw their costumes in a bag as well as an essential diet coke and somehow got into the car. As I pull onto 6th Street, I realize this d%$n pumpkin was sliding off the tray in my seat, wax paper and all. So here I am, driving with my left hand and with my right arm in full extension, quite uncomfortably, holding this pumpkin in place. Then, Nickleback comes on the radio. I realize they are one of those groups that you don't like but know every song....but I can't change the channel without sacrificing my car or the pumpkin. I then realize it is not Nickleback but in fact 3 Doors Down...same difference right. I keep going and finally catch a stoplight. I change the station and am left the decision....Do I listen to Pink or Katy Perry's divorce music? I chose Pink....why wouldn't you?
I get the pumpkin delivered and the next kid picked up and blood drawn and trick or treating done.... I sit down to post this blog in hopes of making people laugh because seriously, it is funny. It really is.... the left over rice krispies are in a pan in the kitchen. My lovely husband walks in and says:
"Dear, you know how toilet paper and ketchup are on the list of things you shouldn't buy generic? Well, can I add rice krispies to that list? You can spend the extra 30 cents." I could have smacked him in the face!!!! Tedi, however, told me they were "AWESOME" and this was the best Halloween EVER....
"What snacks are you bringing to my Halloween party?"
Let's be honest....That question really means "are you as cool as the other moms?" At least that is how it felt. I was able to get out of work early and run to the store. I thought...well I had seen these things are on Pinterest, I surely could make this. "This" being these little things....
So cute, right? Thank you Pinterest for again making me domestically incapable and a maternal failure! I appreciate it. When cooking, I need specific instructions....ie..." Let them cool for X amount of time before rolling them into pumpkin-esque shapes." Well, in my haste after work to get from work to the store to "baking" (if making rice krispies really is that) and then to Chernet's doctor's appointment and trick or treating, I did not realize that I was not able to allow for cooling time. Thus, every time I attempted to roll these, they fell apart in my hand.... So I laid it all out on the pizza tray and realized...I will just turn this into a pumpkin and let the teacher cut it.... and this is what we got...yes, a bit more scary than the happy Pinterest version.....
I wish it got easier from here.... So I throw their costumes in a bag as well as an essential diet coke and somehow got into the car. As I pull onto 6th Street, I realize this d%$n pumpkin was sliding off the tray in my seat, wax paper and all. So here I am, driving with my left hand and with my right arm in full extension, quite uncomfortably, holding this pumpkin in place. Then, Nickleback comes on the radio. I realize they are one of those groups that you don't like but know every song....but I can't change the channel without sacrificing my car or the pumpkin. I then realize it is not Nickleback but in fact 3 Doors Down...same difference right. I keep going and finally catch a stoplight. I change the station and am left the decision....Do I listen to Pink or Katy Perry's divorce music? I chose Pink....why wouldn't you?
I get the pumpkin delivered and the next kid picked up and blood drawn and trick or treating done.... I sit down to post this blog in hopes of making people laugh because seriously, it is funny. It really is.... the left over rice krispies are in a pan in the kitchen. My lovely husband walks in and says:
"Dear, you know how toilet paper and ketchup are on the list of things you shouldn't buy generic? Well, can I add rice krispies to that list? You can spend the extra 30 cents." I could have smacked him in the face!!!! Tedi, however, told me they were "AWESOME" and this was the best Halloween EVER....
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Month of Change
November is orphan awareness month..... This is the perfect opportunity to for those of you who want to do something to make a difference, help kids around the world, but adoption is not where you are at in your life right now. This is a great way to teach your kids, if you have them, that even the smallest about of change can make an impact.
Eyes That See, which I have talked about before, runs an organization in Ethiopia where they help provide education and a meal each day to 200+ school children. They have a child sponsorship program (we sponsor two of their children, one named Chernet). They also run The Keziah House....
"The purpose of the Keziah House is to rehabilitate women who are living in prostitution by providing a dormitory living space with intensive counseling and life skills. This program includes five months of accredited job training."
In November, Eyes That See does a project called Month of Change....You save your change for a whole month and at the end, you send the amount to Eyes That See that will go to support their programs in Ethiopia. Despite our use of plastic money, we are doing it here. I even asked people around my hospital to participate and I have many fellow residents, PICU nurse practitioner friends, PICU nurses, the hospitalists group....all are stepping up.
If you are interested, email me or email Eyes That See (partner@eyesthatsee.org).... We would love to have as many people participate in their homes/jobs/wherever....Just make a jar/cup/container and start saving!
Eyes That See, which I have talked about before, runs an organization in Ethiopia where they help provide education and a meal each day to 200+ school children. They have a child sponsorship program (we sponsor two of their children, one named Chernet). They also run The Keziah House....
"The purpose of the Keziah House is to rehabilitate women who are living in prostitution by providing a dormitory living space with intensive counseling and life skills. This program includes five months of accredited job training."
In November, Eyes That See does a project called Month of Change....You save your change for a whole month and at the end, you send the amount to Eyes That See that will go to support their programs in Ethiopia. Despite our use of plastic money, we are doing it here. I even asked people around my hospital to participate and I have many fellow residents, PICU nurse practitioner friends, PICU nurses, the hospitalists group....all are stepping up.
If you are interested, email me or email Eyes That See (partner@eyesthatsee.org).... We would love to have as many people participate in their homes/jobs/wherever....Just make a jar/cup/container and start saving!
Next Weekend: OCA and Orphan Sunday
I know you are all shocked that next weekend, when JT is the keynote speaker at the OCA (orphan care alliance) and is speaking at Living Grace Church in Campbellsville, Kentucky, I work on Saturday and am on call Sunday. It makes quite sad... I was hoping to give the seminar on HIV and adoption, but JT will do that and the keynote at OCA Saturday morning. Then Sunday, he is taking the opportunity to speak about adoption and orphan care to the church were our best friends, Emily and Jason, led the way in orphan care before moving to Phoenix. I am so blessed to be married to a man who loves orphans, will speak out and advocate for them, is great at laundry and can rock Bel Biv Devoe.
Check out the official orphan care video below.... and if you want to hear JT speak at OCA, Saturday, feel free....he would love it!
Check out the official orphan care video below.... and if you want to hear JT speak at OCA, Saturday, feel free....he would love it!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Tres Months....with a family
A couple of months ago I sat down at 4:22a.m. after a long ER shift that involved me slipping out of the emergency department to sit on the couch in the ICU call room and MAYBE tear up to my friend about how hard this adoption was. Remember the Sarah McLachlan Post? JT may have kicked the shake and go Buzz Lightyear into the wall. Then, most of August and September I spent feeling alone in Chernet's school behavior....like we were chasing our tails and it would never get better...we would always be in the orange zone.... No flying for us.
He has been home THREE months. It seems so fast but so long at the same time. I am not sure what happened, but about 3 weeks ago, something clicked. The orange behaviors moved to a couple of yellows and then blue. Two weeks, ago GREEN snuck in there. Then, he started speaking English. Like, with inflection, this is what I want and I wish you knew what I was trying say English.
He says "Cuse me, Teddddi Bear. My turn talk." and "I want Happy Birthday for Chernet" and "I want score goalie" and he will tell us stories about school, even if there is no timeframe! He thinks Tedi is the best thing in the whole world....like cries if they are not together. And Tedi feels the same way. It really is a beautiful picture to witness.
Despite the immense progress, there are still struggles. It would be a lie to say otherwise. Chernet would choose his brother or dad over me 100 times out of 100. He still shows affection indiscriminately and we feel like jerks asking people to NOT be overly affectionate. And he does not listen well some days (I know that is many kids but sometimes it is with danger and is a learned behavior) ....But there has been so much progress.
Yet in the good and the bad, I would do it all over again. I MAY or MAY NOT have said to JT tonight "can we have or adopt a girl now?" If you are contemplating adoption, I will tell you...it is not easy. It can be really tough taking on the issues caused by someone else and loving someone through it. Yet, it is worth it. It is worth the pain and fights and work.... the love, the kisses, the baby steps and huge progress is soo worth. It is by the far the most redemptive life-changing thing I have experienced. Both boys have changed my lives in so so many ways. Can you see the difference?
He has been home THREE months. It seems so fast but so long at the same time. I am not sure what happened, but about 3 weeks ago, something clicked. The orange behaviors moved to a couple of yellows and then blue. Two weeks, ago GREEN snuck in there. Then, he started speaking English. Like, with inflection, this is what I want and I wish you knew what I was trying say English.
He says "Cuse me, Teddddi Bear. My turn talk." and "I want Happy Birthday for Chernet" and "I want score goalie" and he will tell us stories about school, even if there is no timeframe! He thinks Tedi is the best thing in the whole world....like cries if they are not together. And Tedi feels the same way. It really is a beautiful picture to witness.
Despite the immense progress, there are still struggles. It would be a lie to say otherwise. Chernet would choose his brother or dad over me 100 times out of 100. He still shows affection indiscriminately and we feel like jerks asking people to NOT be overly affectionate. And he does not listen well some days (I know that is many kids but sometimes it is with danger and is a learned behavior) ....But there has been so much progress.
Yet in the good and the bad, I would do it all over again. I MAY or MAY NOT have said to JT tonight "can we have or adopt a girl now?" If you are contemplating adoption, I will tell you...it is not easy. It can be really tough taking on the issues caused by someone else and loving someone through it. Yet, it is worth it. It is worth the pain and fights and work.... the love, the kisses, the baby steps and huge progress is soo worth. It is by the far the most redemptive life-changing thing I have experienced. Both boys have changed my lives in so so many ways. Can you see the difference?
The Difference a Family Makes
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Eat Italian, Help Orphans
Okay local friends.... here is an excuse to eat out for a good cause. My brother in-law, Daniel, is the kitchen manager at Rocky's in Louisville and in conjunction with his restaurant, he help set up a fundraiser for Eyes That See, one of our favorite organizations that works in Ethiopia.
When you eat at Rocky's Italian Restaurant (must be the Jeffersonville, IN location) ALL DAY on Tuesday, Oct. 23, 20% of your meal will be donated to help an organization called 'Eyes That See'. They run a feeding program, providing children with education and food, and teaching them about Jesus! Also, they provide education and job training for women formerly in the sex industry while giving them a safe place to live and worship.
Just print out the flyer and give it to your server. Eat good food for a good cause! Oh, and the Henderson family (us ;-) will be there if you want to hang out!
If you can't make the dinner, head over to www.eyesthatsee.org and sponsor a child so they can continue their schooling. If you love our kids, love orphans but don't feel ready to adopt, stepping in this way gives you a connection, a face, and you are making a difference!
When you eat at Rocky's Italian Restaurant (must be the Jeffersonville, IN location) ALL DAY on Tuesday, Oct. 23, 20% of your meal will be donated to help an organization called 'Eyes That See'. They run a feeding program, providing children with education and food, and teaching them about Jesus! Also, they provide education and job training for women formerly in the sex industry while giving them a safe place to live and worship.
Just print out the flyer and give it to your server. Eat good food for a good cause! Oh, and the Henderson family (us ;-) will be there if you want to hang out!
If you can't make the dinner, head over to www.eyesthatsee.org and sponsor a child so they can continue their schooling. If you love our kids, love orphans but don't feel ready to adopt, stepping in this way gives you a connection, a face, and you are making a difference!
Weekends Away
Last weekend JT and I headed to Ann Arbor, Michigan so that I could interview for fellowship. We spent a couple of days visiting friends after the interview and it was great time. The leaves were changing and the colors were magnificent. I can not tell you how nice it was to sleep in past EARLY for a few mornings. We owe it to my mom and sis as well as JT's parents. Of course, Chernet hurt his finger and ended up in the ED while we were gone. (He is fine, by the way. Thank goodness my best friend Heather was working.) We finished the weekend with trick or treating at the zoo with my friend Erin and her family. While busy, it was relaxing and fun all at the same time......
This past weekend we went the Gatlinburg, Tennessee with my in-laws and stayed at their time share. My mom met us there. The boys had a great time. There was a huge water park and playground....they saw a bear while I was shopping and loved that as well. It was neat for Chernet to see things for the first time. Every other word was "Waz Dat?"
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| At a cider mill in southern Michigan |
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| Beautiful day |
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| Loving the attention |
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| Captain America and Venom Spiderman |
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| With the boys |
This past weekend we went the Gatlinburg, Tennessee with my in-laws and stayed at their time share. My mom met us there. The boys had a great time. There was a huge water park and playground....they saw a bear while I was shopping and loved that as well. It was neat for Chernet to see things for the first time. Every other word was "Waz Dat?"
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Frustration
I am glad I have waited several days to write this post. Nevertheless, I am still harboring frustration FOR (not with) Chernet. While I am mostly happy with his school, I feel like I am having to say over and over to myself and to others..."He lived three of his first five years in an orphanage with minimal rules. It was survival of the fittest and we do not know what behaviors he saw and felt were acceptable." Do not hear me wrong. I grew up with the motto of "Excuses are a sign of weakness." I do not excuse Chernet's behavior when it does not fall in line with the rules but at the same time, I understand or try to understand its origin. So when someone shoves him, he shoves back. He continues a behavior, even if bad, when someone laughs. He wants to hug people and hold hands with his friends because that is how he has grown up. And I feel I am incessantly explaining little behaviors to people so they don't "label" him. I feel like it is a constant little battle....
And despite this, he is doing so well. Our NO FLY ZONE color has improved and even earned GREEN behavior two times this week. That is the best he can get! I let him pick a coloring book, his favorite thing, as a reward for his behavior on Tuesday. I wish you could hear his English....the new language mixed with his Ethiopian accent. He is telling me stories about school and sports and friends....though the stories are scattered from the weeks since he came home. He told me all about playing baseball (albeit two weeks ago).... about someone hurting his feelings at school. They are in broken English and hard to piece together.....but they are his. And while he often still won't hug me or kiss me at will, I feel privileged to be privy to his random stories at bedtime.
I love this boy. He is my boy and I will fight for his little stories and little life...Over and over and over again.
And despite this, he is doing so well. Our NO FLY ZONE color has improved and even earned GREEN behavior two times this week. That is the best he can get! I let him pick a coloring book, his favorite thing, as a reward for his behavior on Tuesday. I wish you could hear his English....the new language mixed with his Ethiopian accent. He is telling me stories about school and sports and friends....though the stories are scattered from the weeks since he came home. He told me all about playing baseball (albeit two weeks ago).... about someone hurting his feelings at school. They are in broken English and hard to piece together.....but they are his. And while he often still won't hug me or kiss me at will, I feel privileged to be privy to his random stories at bedtime.
I love this boy. He is my boy and I will fight for his little stories and little life...Over and over and over again.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Proud
We all do things in life and want someone to be proud of us....to acknowledge our accomplishment(s) even if they are small. Some will say "I don't need the approval of others." No, we don't need it, but if we are truly honest with ourselves, we WANT it.
This weekend Tedi and Chernet played in their weekly soccer game. They both love it and are getting better each week. Yet a pivotal moment for me came this week... I watched as Tedi dribbled (I used to think this only applied to basketball...I have been schooled to the contrary) the soccer ball down the small field. He made the shot. Standing with my friends Heather and Adam, Tedi turned and smiled at me.
"Smiled" is probably too small of a word. Adam said "You are the first person he looked for" as Tedi made a bee line towards me as fast as he could and embraced me in a hug. I hugged his little body that is inching closer to my height. I told him I was so proud of his goal and his effort.
I never imagined I could feel such an overwhelming sense of pride in anyone..... He is a great boy and I have been so so blessed....so changed by him.
This weekend Tedi and Chernet played in their weekly soccer game. They both love it and are getting better each week. Yet a pivotal moment for me came this week... I watched as Tedi dribbled (I used to think this only applied to basketball...I have been schooled to the contrary) the soccer ball down the small field. He made the shot. Standing with my friends Heather and Adam, Tedi turned and smiled at me.
"Smiled" is probably too small of a word. Adam said "You are the first person he looked for" as Tedi made a bee line towards me as fast as he could and embraced me in a hug. I hugged his little body that is inching closer to my height. I told him I was so proud of his goal and his effort.
I never imagined I could feel such an overwhelming sense of pride in anyone..... He is a great boy and I have been so so blessed....so changed by him.
Hello!
I have not blogged in a while. It was not a forced media hiatus. I was not really on night shift and sleep deprived...or really anything. Shockingly, I have had little to say or rather, a lot to say, but just did not know how to say it.
So I will start with randomness...I will write about our life recently, hoping to move me to write more and more posts as we approach Orphan Awareness Month in November...
I am watching Glee as I type this...JT would like to kill my friends Heather and Erin for convincing me to watch this. Oh well, right. Thank you, Netflix. The boys have been busy busy with soccer. They are on the South Korea team...random I know. The two Ethiopian children are on the South Korean team :-) Tedi is really starting to love it and dribbles very well. Chernet is so stinking fast but still trying to wrap his head around the rules... I would love to see him score a goal....FOR HIS TEAM! It is hard to get good shots of the game because they will not stand still!
I love fall. October (and November really) is one of my favorite months. I love pumpkin anything... I love jeans and sweats and football and leaves changes and festivals. I am not really a Halloween fan but love seeing my kids happy. I enjoying pumpkin painting and carving and apple cider. . In the midst of fall, I am finishing up my interviews next week in Ann Arbor and am glad to be finished. I hope the drive with JT will allow me to soak up fall.... I will find out in November, specifically the 28th. Now, please hear this....as much as I love fall, it has nothing on Christmastime. As you can see, January through September suffer :-)
I was so happy this past Tuesday....My best friend, Emily, recently moved to Phoenix where her husband took a position at a church there. She flew in on Tuesday with her two girls, Stella and Vivian. Tedi was so happy to see Stella. They adore one another and he even cried to the babysitter after she was gone. It is nice to have friends who you can just not sit out towels and not tell them where your blow dryer is and who disciplines your children without you caring.
So I will start with randomness...I will write about our life recently, hoping to move me to write more and more posts as we approach Orphan Awareness Month in November...
I am watching Glee as I type this...JT would like to kill my friends Heather and Erin for convincing me to watch this. Oh well, right. Thank you, Netflix. The boys have been busy busy with soccer. They are on the South Korea team...random I know. The two Ethiopian children are on the South Korean team :-) Tedi is really starting to love it and dribbles very well. Chernet is so stinking fast but still trying to wrap his head around the rules... I would love to see him score a goal....FOR HIS TEAM! It is hard to get good shots of the game because they will not stand still!
I love fall. October (and November really) is one of my favorite months. I love pumpkin anything... I love jeans and sweats and football and leaves changes and festivals. I am not really a Halloween fan but love seeing my kids happy. I enjoying pumpkin painting and carving and apple cider. . In the midst of fall, I am finishing up my interviews next week in Ann Arbor and am glad to be finished. I hope the drive with JT will allow me to soak up fall.... I will find out in November, specifically the 28th. Now, please hear this....as much as I love fall, it has nothing on Christmastime. As you can see, January through September suffer :-)
I was so happy this past Tuesday....My best friend, Emily, recently moved to Phoenix where her husband took a position at a church there. She flew in on Tuesday with her two girls, Stella and Vivian. Tedi was so happy to see Stella. They adore one another and he even cried to the babysitter after she was gone. It is nice to have friends who you can just not sit out towels and not tell them where your blow dryer is and who disciplines your children without you caring.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The Avenue
I do not talk about our church much on here but I am really blessed to be part of this group of people.... We don't get just get together on Sundays, sing songs, have a children's ministry and live separate lives. Our goal is serve others just as Jesus served others while living like a family. A few weeks ago, about seventy five college students (we are on a college campus) and families got together and packaged meals that were sent to Zambia...How many meals? 20,000. Yep, that is a lot.
Today in lieu of having a typical service, we piled into a parking lot on the University of Louisville's campus and built the walls of a house that will be given to family who lost their home in Madison, Indiana due to the tornadoes. We did this in about three hours. There were tons of people and now a family nearby will be blessed.
Children were encouraged to help and while Chernet did not understand why we were doing this, he had fun. With Tedi, though, we thought it was important to learn about serving others. I hope he got a little taste of it today...at least we tried. We are very blessed to be part of this church and wish more of our friends would try it out as well.
Today in lieu of having a typical service, we piled into a parking lot on the University of Louisville's campus and built the walls of a house that will be given to family who lost their home in Madison, Indiana due to the tornadoes. We did this in about three hours. There were tons of people and now a family nearby will be blessed.
Children were encouraged to help and while Chernet did not understand why we were doing this, he had fun. With Tedi, though, we thought it was important to learn about serving others. I hope he got a little taste of it today...at least we tried. We are very blessed to be part of this church and wish more of our friends would try it out as well.
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| Our Team.... |
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| His Granpa Kevin would be proud |
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| They did work at some point ;-) |
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| Tedi, Chernet, Jovi |
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| A view of the teams |
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| Chernet, dressed for the occasion |
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| Working together |
Thursday, September 20, 2012
How Much Do You Matter? (Borrowed Blog Post)
I DID NOT WRITE THIS!!! It is from Building the Blocks blog. Amy Block, a mother of four biological kids and five adopted kidswho is now a missionary in Guatemala, should get all the credit It is so good and so true for many of us....
Image with me for a minute…
Right now, today… you are small and alone.
You are hungry and lost.
You have no home, no parents, and seemingly no future.
You are scared, and weak, from days without food. You have no where to go, no where to be.
People walk by you but they don’t even look your way.
It’s like you are invisible, nothing.
You keep walking, your feet are bleeding and sore… and yet still you manage to cling to the small bit of hope, the little voice inside your head that says maybe, just maybe, one day things will get better.
Maybe one day -you will matter.
It is getting dark outside- inside your fear is growing.
Where will you go?
Your heart is beating faster, and your fear becomes over whelming, consuming your every thought.
Then you see it, a dirty, broken cardboard box and you bow your head thanking God for His provision.
For you have found it- shelter.
Safety, if only for one night.
You slip underneath it, hugging yourself, vowing once again not to cry- because by now you know tears are a waste of your strength.
Your eyes become heavy, despite the sweltering temperature.
As you begin to drift off to sleep you pray, hoping, dreaming, of a family of your own one day...
of a place where you will matter...
to someone.
Half away around the world is a family...
They are just sitting down to dinner together.
They are smiling and their laughter fills the room.
Dinner is served and they bow their heads and they pray- thanking God for their many blessings… their home, their job, the food that is set before them.
They lift their heads and go back to the laughter and the joy.
They talk of their upcoming vacation plans, the lunch date they shared with a friend today and the movie they plan to see this coming weekend.
More laughter, more excitement, more.
As the leftovers are scraped into the garbage can and the table is cleaned up, hot bubble bathes are taken by all.
Evening settles in, and the family slips under their down comforters preparing for a good nights sleep.
Before turning out the lights, the husband leans over to kiss his wife good-night. She shyly smiles at him and begins to tell him that she has been feeling that perhaps God is calling them to adopt.
The room grows quiet as they are both lost in their own thoughts… their minds are flooded with questions, concern, and then inevitably -fear.
How could they manage?
Another child?
Why, they already have two!
Where would they put the child?
Who would share a room?
How could they afford to adopt?
Would they be able to take that vacation?
What would people think?
What if the child, you know, caused ‘problems’?
As their eyelids become heavy, they begin to drift off to sleep... and they think to themselves ‘surely not’.
Surely God knows this is not convenient.
Surely God wants them to take that vacation they deserve...
Surely he knows how busy they are.
They have plans and they have dreams.
As sleep overcomes them, the temperature in their master bedroom is perfect… and their pillows are fluffed to perfection.
Life is good for them, just as they had planned...
Because after all, they matter...
One of the greatest diseases is to be
nobody to anybody.
~ Mother Teresa
Image with me for a minute…
Right now, today… you are small and alone.
You are hungry and lost.
You have no home, no parents, and seemingly no future.
You are scared, and weak, from days without food. You have no where to go, no where to be.
People walk by you but they don’t even look your way.
It’s like you are invisible, nothing.
You keep walking, your feet are bleeding and sore… and yet still you manage to cling to the small bit of hope, the little voice inside your head that says maybe, just maybe, one day things will get better.
Maybe one day -you will matter.
It is getting dark outside- inside your fear is growing.
Where will you go?
Your heart is beating faster, and your fear becomes over whelming, consuming your every thought.
Then you see it, a dirty, broken cardboard box and you bow your head thanking God for His provision.
For you have found it- shelter.
Safety, if only for one night.
You slip underneath it, hugging yourself, vowing once again not to cry- because by now you know tears are a waste of your strength.
Your eyes become heavy, despite the sweltering temperature.
As you begin to drift off to sleep you pray, hoping, dreaming, of a family of your own one day...
of a place where you will matter...
to someone.
Half away around the world is a family...
They are just sitting down to dinner together.
They are smiling and their laughter fills the room.
Dinner is served and they bow their heads and they pray- thanking God for their many blessings… their home, their job, the food that is set before them.
They lift their heads and go back to the laughter and the joy.
They talk of their upcoming vacation plans, the lunch date they shared with a friend today and the movie they plan to see this coming weekend.
More laughter, more excitement, more.
As the leftovers are scraped into the garbage can and the table is cleaned up, hot bubble bathes are taken by all.
Evening settles in, and the family slips under their down comforters preparing for a good nights sleep.
Before turning out the lights, the husband leans over to kiss his wife good-night. She shyly smiles at him and begins to tell him that she has been feeling that perhaps God is calling them to adopt.
The room grows quiet as they are both lost in their own thoughts… their minds are flooded with questions, concern, and then inevitably -fear.
How could they manage?
Another child?
Why, they already have two!
Where would they put the child?
Who would share a room?
How could they afford to adopt?
Would they be able to take that vacation?
What would people think?
What if the child, you know, caused ‘problems’?
As their eyelids become heavy, they begin to drift off to sleep... and they think to themselves ‘surely not’.
Surely God knows this is not convenient.
Surely God wants them to take that vacation they deserve...
Surely he knows how busy they are.
They have plans and they have dreams.
As sleep overcomes them, the temperature in their master bedroom is perfect… and their pillows are fluffed to perfection.
Life is good for them, just as they had planned...
Because after all, they matter...
Too much...
to themselves.
"This is how we know
what love is: Jesus
Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our
brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but
has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not
love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we
know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his
presence whenever our
hearts condemn us. "- 1 John 3:16-20
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Prayer Time (JT's Post)
Natalie traveled to Pittsburgh the past few days for a fellowship interview. I spent the past few days in "single dad mode." Single dad JT serves dinners of Pizza Rolls, Veggie Burgers and Baked Lays Chips. I am proud that I limited myself to one beer per night (the thought of getting tanked did cross my mind) and no toys were harmed while Natalie was away (if you've ever heard my kids play harmonicas or Shake and Go Woody you know this is an accomplishment).
During our bedtime ritual, the last thing the boys do (besides empty their bladders which apparently are the size of a spare tire) is to climb into my lap and pray. Prayer time with two 5-year olds is hilarious. Prayer time with two five-year olds who are recently adopted is high comedy. Chernet thinks closing our eyes for prayer = peek-a-boo. Tedi tries to say the same prayer every night. He is very ritualistic. I think he was born Presbyterian (sorry for that failed attempt at theological humor).
I generally pray for these things with my kids:
-their behavior at school
-help Mommy be a good doctor
-help Daddy do a good job at work and church
-thank God for family and friends
-committing my children's lives to service to others and searching for relationship with God
-their relatives back in Ethiopia
The past few nights, the weight of that last request has weighed heavily on my mind. We do not know much about Chernet's family. We met Tedi's mom and several of his siblings. I know the type of environment they live in and the struggles they face daily. Dwelling on this situation is difficult. Often, Tedi becomes emotional when I pray for his birth family. I am unsure if he is crying for them or the thought of them. Either way, it pains me to see my son grieve.
During my personal study time, I find God has sent me a clear message recently over and over. It is a mantra of which I need to remind myself constantly:
"Just because I have promised you something does not mean you will get it easily. You will have to fight for it."
God has promised us a family that will be restored and redeemed. He never promised us that it would be easy. Knowing this makes the "fight" a little easier. I try to find rest in this fight (I know that sounds counter-intuitive) because it is a fight that God Himself has called our family to. I am proud to fight for my two little men. I am not a perfect dad. Heck, most days my plan is to get out of the way long enough to let Natalie do her thing.
During our bedtime ritual, the last thing the boys do (besides empty their bladders which apparently are the size of a spare tire) is to climb into my lap and pray. Prayer time with two 5-year olds is hilarious. Prayer time with two five-year olds who are recently adopted is high comedy. Chernet thinks closing our eyes for prayer = peek-a-boo. Tedi tries to say the same prayer every night. He is very ritualistic. I think he was born Presbyterian (sorry for that failed attempt at theological humor).
I generally pray for these things with my kids:
-their behavior at school
-help Mommy be a good doctor
-help Daddy do a good job at work and church
-thank God for family and friends
-committing my children's lives to service to others and searching for relationship with God
-their relatives back in Ethiopia
The past few nights, the weight of that last request has weighed heavily on my mind. We do not know much about Chernet's family. We met Tedi's mom and several of his siblings. I know the type of environment they live in and the struggles they face daily. Dwelling on this situation is difficult. Often, Tedi becomes emotional when I pray for his birth family. I am unsure if he is crying for them or the thought of them. Either way, it pains me to see my son grieve.
During my personal study time, I find God has sent me a clear message recently over and over. It is a mantra of which I need to remind myself constantly:
"Just because I have promised you something does not mean you will get it easily. You will have to fight for it."
God has promised us a family that will be restored and redeemed. He never promised us that it would be easy. Knowing this makes the "fight" a little easier. I try to find rest in this fight (I know that sounds counter-intuitive) because it is a fight that God Himself has called our family to. I am proud to fight for my two little men. I am not a perfect dad. Heck, most days my plan is to get out of the way long enough to let Natalie do her thing.
1 Peter 1:6
"In all this you greatly rejoice, though for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials."
Friday, September 14, 2012
The Friday Five
I did these regularly when I started my blog....The top 5 things making the week....sometimes I would choose topics (top 5 adoption t-shirts, top 5 things for kids, top 5 books)
Now that fall TV is back, I will pick my top 5 shows this fall. Keep in mind, most are DVR-ed and saved for later dates. I hope it goes without saying but I will say it nonetheless, our kids DO NOT watch these with us. Come one people.
1) NFL...
Really all football. We just love it. Our perfect Sunday is coming home from church, putting on sweats, turning on whatever game is on and eating football food. One way to spend a great fall day in the Henderson house.
2) The Good Wife
We all loved Julianna Margulies as George Clooney's girlfriend, Carol, on ER. She is now on The Good Wife, which we have been watching for a season or so now. We thoroughly enjoy it and ends are Sunday night shortly after football ends.
3) Modern Family
Who does not love it?!?! Why should I even explain? If you have a family even slightly deviant of Leave it Beaver, you will appreciate this.
4) Scandal
This is a new show for us..... it is a mix of politics and drama and sex set in Washington DC. Kerry Washington, the lead actress, is one of most beautiful women I have seen. Plus she does a great job in this show. We are not hooked to this yet but it definitely makes the DVR.
5) This one is a toss up. JT and I will argue this one out. There is the Office, which used to top the list and still makes a weekly appearance but is falling off. JT loves the MTV series REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES Challenge.... yes, he is the only 35 year old still watching it. Yep, I just outed him. I will vote for Project Runway. We both watch Law & Order: SVU. I am trying to get JT to watch Glee but he is not there yet.... Can anyone convince him?
I think that is it. What are some of your favorites?
Now that fall TV is back, I will pick my top 5 shows this fall. Keep in mind, most are DVR-ed and saved for later dates. I hope it goes without saying but I will say it nonetheless, our kids DO NOT watch these with us. Come one people.
1) NFL...
Really all football. We just love it. Our perfect Sunday is coming home from church, putting on sweats, turning on whatever game is on and eating football food. One way to spend a great fall day in the Henderson house.
2) The Good Wife
We all loved Julianna Margulies as George Clooney's girlfriend, Carol, on ER. She is now on The Good Wife, which we have been watching for a season or so now. We thoroughly enjoy it and ends are Sunday night shortly after football ends.
3) Modern Family
Who does not love it?!?! Why should I even explain? If you have a family even slightly deviant of Leave it Beaver, you will appreciate this.
4) Scandal
This is a new show for us..... it is a mix of politics and drama and sex set in Washington DC. Kerry Washington, the lead actress, is one of most beautiful women I have seen. Plus she does a great job in this show. We are not hooked to this yet but it definitely makes the DVR.
I think that is it. What are some of your favorites?
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