Then and Now

We went to the lake this holiday weekend.  About two years ago (August 2010), we took Tedi to my dad's house boat for the first time.  This is likely out last weekend at the boat as a family of three.  I was shocked at the difference in pictures of Tedi now compared to two years ago....I know he has grown 14 inches and 12 pounds since then.... HOWEVER, it is still impressive to see in photos...

THEN

NOW



Helping Grandpa: THEN

Helping Grandpa: NOW

Driving the boat: THEN

Driving the boat: NOW

Who we are.....

So we have been getting more blog traffic lately so I thought this was an appropriate time for this post....I wanted introduce or re-introduce me, us and really what we are all about....It is only a little snapshot so if you want to know more (which you probably don't at all) let me know.... so, if you know us, feel free to skip this.  If not, welcome! 

Our Family~
We are currently a family of 3, Natalie, JT and Tedi, but we are waiting to bring home our second son, Chernet.  We are using Lifeline Adoptions and love them!  We are huge adoption advocates....HIV adoptions, international adoptions, domestic..... we support and encourage it all... We attend The Avenue Church, which is a church plant on the campus of the University of Louisville geared at reaching college kids.  With that, we are some the oldest members.  JT is an elder at the church and Tedi is quite a hit! 

JT~
As stated above, JT is an elder as our church.  He works for Family and Children's Place as the assistant development directo...it is an organization that offers services and such for children who have been victims of physical and sexual abuse.  JT is fundraiser for their programs and loves his job.  In addition to this, he helps coach an AAU team in the spring.   If you have questions about adoption from a men's perspective or our church, please feel free to email him at jthenderson17@yahoo.com

Natalie~
I am finishing my second year as a pediatric resident at Kosair Children's Hospital, the children's hospital in Louisville, KY.  While my job requires much of time and energy, I can not think of doing anything else.  I work crazy hours but love my boys, my friends, my family like crazy.  I love talking about adoption of all types, educating families about the medical aspects of adoption, and really answer any questions in general.  nataliehenderson21@yahoo.com

Tedi & Chernet~
These are our boys.... Tedros "Tedi" Henderson is our first son and he is five years old.  He will start kindergarten in the fall here in Louisville.  He loves soccer and running but has little love for basketball or baseball, breaking his father's heart.  Chernet, our second son, should be coming home from Ethiopia late July or August of this year.  From our first meeting, he is rambunctious, loving, and a little mischievious.  We can not wait to add him to our family. 

TEDI

CHERNET

Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions about adoption, HIV or otherwise!

Over the weekend....

I thought I would do so more light hearted posting.... This weekend was the annual Henderson men baseball trip.... my father in law, brother in law, JT and Tedi all took off to Milwaukee for a Brewers vs. Twins game.  They choose a different park every year, so despite being Cubs fans, they like to visit different cities.They are having a great time.

As for me, I have been left to my own devices. Last night, I curled up in sweats, Indian food, and one of my good friends from work and we watched a "girlie" movie.  Today started with strolling through the mall with a friend (see below picture.)  I spent my alone afternoon doing laundry, my nemesis, worked on a craft for the boys' room (also pictured below), cleaned out Tedi's winter clothes and set aside clothes for Chernet, and lastly..... I worked on the blog.  I updated the tabs at the top and their contents.  I also added a music playlist at the bottom of the blog.... I wanted this option while I am browsing the web but I also wanted it not automatically start jamming Jason Mraz at work, so it won't play unless you make it!  (Don't judge my music choices).  I added a fundraising 101 section so if you have any ideas that have worked, I would love to share them here.  I have cleaned up the HIV section and am continuing to work on these... Suggestions are definitely welcome to make the blog more usable and helpful to visitors!

Next year, this guy will make the baseball trip.... God help them!  He will wear them out!  Thank you Fran for this amazing picture of Chernet at the transition home.  Yep, those are pink crocs he is rocking....  oh he has no idea what is waiting him, my sweet boy.

I met my friend Lesley at the mall today.  We browsed all the stores while talking..... we circled a second time through Old Navy and look what she found!  Of course the doctor in me had to have these for my son... they did not have them in Tedi's size so Chernet is going to be punished...

Lastly, I thought I would try to be crafty.... if you know me, having a self-referencing pronoun and craft in the same sentence is an oxymoron.... These are wood, painted brown, with different scrapbook papers modge podged onto the wood... I will post a picture one they are hung in the boys room... 

So What's Next????

~ We passed court and officially became Chernet's parents on May 9, 2012 (I don't think I mentioned that we passed court for Tedi on May 10, 2010...pretty cool). 

~ So happens now.... well our court documents and decree have to be translated from Amharic,     
  Chernet has a formal medical evaluation, and all of our and his documents are compiled and  
  submitted to the United States Embassy for review and visa.

~ When will he be home....  the short answer is we do not know.  He has a living birth grandparent
   that the embassy may want to speak with (completely okay by me).... it is taking anywhere   
   from four weeks to four months with the average of 3 months-ish.... So, we don't know when he
   will be here but we hope it is sooner rather than later

~ In the meantime.... we are trying to arrange for someone to pick up the boys in the fall after school
  from two separate elementary schools (interested?) We will work like crazy...organize Tedi's  
  room to make room in all the toys for a brother.  I will be applying for my pediatric intensive care  
  fellowship in July.... that is what we will do while we wait.  Oh yes, and continue to encourage
  everyone else to adopt, advocate, fight, DO...

Can you find my boy? A lovely gift from a friend who was in Ethiopia a few days after us.

Lice, Scabies, and Ringworm.... Oh My!

Our trip to Ethiopia was filled with many overwhelming experiences.... spending time with our second son (joyful), meeting Tedi's birth family (so emotional), soaking in the sights and sounds of our children's birth country.  One of the most reward moments of the trip was getting to use my medical knowledge and talents to help the children.  I did not bring antibiotics but I brought the basics for checking ears, ointments of skin, stickers as rewards....suckers as bribes (don't tell the dentists) 

Here in America, we take medical care for granted.  People bring their children to the emergency room for ear infections, strep throat, bug bites.....  we expect to be seen immediately.  We let our children act like fools if they are getting shots or even better, we threaten their bad behavior with shots....or my favorite, we choose NOT to give vaccines when so many countries are literally having their children die because of diseases that in American we can protect our children from....

As I sat up a makeshift clinic in the West Sands Primary School, I was answering questions from the teachers and school workers.  The basic question: how do we get rid of ring worm in the scalp?  So simple, right?  You take griseofulvin, an anti fungal, by mouth two times per day.  You get rid of the hats and use new clippers.... wash all of the bedding and throw away all brushes (similar to lice, minus the 6 weeks of medicine)  As I said this, I could read the looks I was receiving.  I then realized....if you saved to buy one hat, it is difficult to throw it away.  If you only have one set of clippers, how can you justify throwing them out.  A medicine that you must take for 6 weeks is just a little too expensive when paying for food is difficult.  My heart broke... think about those tough decisions being made... when here, we run to the ER and demand answers and a quick fix...  I am an American pediatrician and now I have a new appreciation for "sick"....a new understanding of what a little education can do for a family...  and maybe a little more impatience for parents who don't hold their kids for ear exams (just wait till you see the pics) because these kids, without their parents present, sat overly cooperatively for the exam. 

I won't lie....on the drive home, I convinced myself that I had taken with me the lice, ringworm, and maybe a little scabies or molluscum.  Our second day home I even had my friend (who also happens to do my hair) get out of bed and drive to our house in the rain to check my head for lice.... I did not have it then but still carry a little paranoia.... I would have taken lice, molluscum, ringworm....the sinus infection (which I do have).... I would have taken it all on myself for the experience of serving the children... I would have taken it all and more if it meant I could remove it from their little bodies....

Below are the highlights from the school medical clinic (my husband was a great photographer and medical assistant and another adoptive mom was the fav with stickers and suckers)....

ONE MORE

This was posted by our adoption agency today on Facebook.  (We are with Lifeline Adoption but our in country placing agency is West Sands Adoption in Ethiopia....)

Attention Adoptive Families - We have several HIV+ waiting children ready to be matched to their forever family. If you are interested in learning more about adopting an HIV+ child please let us know. We have a sweet (just turned) 4 year old boy, 6 year old girls, 8 year old boys, and a 12 year old girl with mitral valve prolapse. We also have healthy siblings - boy 8 years old & girl 6 years old. Please help us spread the word, to find these children's families....We know they are out there. :)

A post very similar to this in early March changed the course of our adoption, the course of our lives.  We said "yes" to HIV adoption of our son Chernet... our journey is just beginning.  Let me tell you....these kids need homes just like the cuddly, cute babies.  That is not a knock on the babies...I don't worry about babies not being adopted.  I worry about these kids.  My husband, as we speak, wants to shake me.  He won't deny it...and he tells me "Natalie, we can't adopt everyone."  I keep thinking...just one more. 

Sadly, he is right.  Despite my longing, my desire for another, there will always be ONE MORE.  In truth, I can not save every child......For now, I am working on the peace of realizing I can not save every one of them.  (If you are interested in these kids....seriously, email me. nataliehenderson21@yahoo.com. I will direct you to right place.)

Mother Teresa seemed to have it right.... She said many things that became famous...but the quotes below, they keep me in knots...these quotes, along with the faces from last week, keep me sharing the same story and advocating for ONE MORE....maybe, just maybe, it will encourage someone else to subtract ONE MORE.

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."

"One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody. "

Fun, Fun

I thought I would take a one blog break from all of the heavy stuff on my heart and post some of the fun pictures (photographer I am not, but I think you get the picture)... to make you smile and laugh and entice you to GO....to DO....to LOVE...

A hut on the way to Tedi's village

Adding fuel to the car manually since the gas station was out of gasoline

Pretend Coffee Ceremony

Too Cool

I know it is sideways and I can't fix that but it shows his personality

in mommy's glasses

Frappacino

Caramel Macchiato

His true colors

First Picture together as parents of 2 boys

Feet

And I am worried that my air conditioning isn't working....about where Tedi and Chernet will attend school and how much the after school care will cost..... about which brand of cereal to buy....As my husband says, all of these are FIRST world problems...problems we stress because this is where we live, how we are raised..and though adopting and visiting Ethiopia and being aware of THIRD world problems does not solve them, it at least reminds us to have perspective.  Even home 3 days, I must not let myself lose perspective...when I go back to work on Thursday, I must not lose perspective.

"Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act."
Proverbs 24:12

Not Just Another Mother's Day....

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's, mama's, mommy's, step-mom's, granny's, granna's, aunt's, friends, soon-to-be moms, want-to-be moms, birth moms, adoptive moms, ladies who mothered you without being given the title of mother, mom's who have carried a child in the womb without the child ever having a face to see, to the mom's who sit empty-armed in a hut half a world away, mom's who drive mini vans and home school and mom's who work 16 hours a day and are thankful for daycare, mom's who can cook and mom's who order out, mom's who have no children but love many children as their own and mom's who have 1, 3, 7, 15 children....    For the definition of mother I found says "female that creates, nurtures, protects something..."  Some definitions include producing off spring...yet I find this one more true.... more reflective of the mother figures in my life, the mother I want to be.   For all the women than can produce offspring do not necessarily nurture, create, or protect... (trust me, this I know for sure in my job)....

I spend today reflecting on last Sunday, the day I met Tedi's birth mother, Worknesh.  Our bodies, hers who gave him life, and mine, the one that sustains his life now, met in multiple hugs.  Words were not understood but between mothers, so much can be understood in a look, a touch.  I watched her kiss Tedi's picture.  I watched the looks of longing in her eyes....I could see the love for him radiate from within her soul.   My mother's day blessing is born from her loss of her youngest son.  Yet her strength, her resolute and faithful demeanor are traits I want to emulate.  The villagers described her as a hard-worker, protecting, strong, respected.... much like the traits described in Proverbs 31, though she is not clothed in scarlet or fine linens...she does not have servant girls and her husband is deceased.  Yet, she steadfastly pursues the life she was given, despite the confines of poverty in which she lives.  Having met this woman makes me want to be a better mom to her son, a better steward of her gift and the many blessings God has bestowed upon me (namely her son).  In her loss, I have gained and yet she continuously said to me, "God Bless You... I have no words to thank you..." In truth, I have no words for her...

So while you go about your week worrying about which is better, public school private school or home school or you begin judging the mom who may not be keeping up with her kids or you worry about the hairdryer that just broke and what your hair will look at church (me)....think about the true responsibility of mothering...the blessing God gave to you...whether in your womb or in the womb of another woman...God blessed you with each moment you have with your children. 

While I am soul searching on motherhood....scary when I have been up since 3am due to jet lag......  I feel so inadequate... I mean, I am a self conscious (short, overweight, not smart enough), I am busy (I work ridiculous hours...how could I even think I could continue to add to my family...and I want more than just two right now)..... I am selfish (I want nap rather than do laundry, I want to buy a coffee rather than make it).... Who am I to parent one child, two children, or more????  Yet who aren't I?  God has infinitely blessed me.  He loves me at size 8 or 18, when I am serving and saving other people's children and nurturing my own children.  He loves me even when the laundry is piled up and I am selfish.... 

So if He loves me as His child, how can I/we not love more of His children?  It is mother's day.... and think of all the children sitting in orphanages around the world and here without mommy's to make cards for....but oh how they would love it... If I could post pictures of the children in the orphanages, I would.... I looked into so many sad eyes...they would smile and play and laugh, but they want someone to take them home... You don't have to super woman or special or rich or whatever you think you have to be to adopt...to love another child, to mother another child.  You may be the only chance they have at a mother...  Today is these children's "motherless day."  Maybe next year you can be his or her mom...you can share a life with another woman who provided it....  Just because they don't look like you does not make you any less capable of loving them, parenting them....Trust me, it is in you....there is enough love.  When you make the effort to step out, He will give you the ability to mother more, to love more, to give more....

Again, Happy Mother's Day!  I am truly blessed....off to that laundry from our trip!

Meeting Chernet

We did not even realize that the car moving Chernet from the orphanage to the transition home pulled in behind our van.  Our agency's guest home is attached to the transition home so that when you arrive for court or embassy the child is in the transition home.... this is nice because you can see them daily.  We woke each morning to noise of the children playing (and the Orthodox Christian calls to prayer)...

When I met Tedi, it was at the end of a jet way as he held his father's hand.  I missed that first week of bonding in Ethiopia due to work.  However, that moment was no less special than the one with Chernet.  I have never given birth, yet these moments of first meeting my sons, are irreplaceable.  Meeting them was not preceded by physical pain and tears but rather emotional roller coasters and months of waiting and work...  How blessed I am to have these boys, to be their mom. 

Chernet instantly began playing with us....both with blocks, basketball, soccer, and eating our breakfast.  It was a great first morning as parents of two children.... I can not even imagine the noise level that is going to happen so very soon in our home.... Between Tedi's continuous talking and Chernet's activity level, it should be interesting. 

Enjoy a few more pictures of our first day together....

We Passed Court!!!



He is now our son! 

We leave tonight at 10:15p Ethiopian time and will be home at 8:45 EST tomorrow!

Can't wait to share more

We are Back....

JT and I got back around 2pm (ethiopian time) today.  The drive to see Tedi's birth mother was 8 hours each way....give or take.... now we are headed shopping.... I will write a long post later...

We are here!!!

We got here safely and really had no issues at the airport. The car moving Chernet from the orphanage to the transition house (where we are staying) pulled in behind us. Within 5 minutes, they brought him to meet us. He kissed us both and smiled for pictures. He is a skinny little thing and his 5T pants kept falling down...though he did not seem to mind. We only had to discipline once (he was trying to climb over the counter to get some one's camera that was not his.) He DID NOT like being told no and gave me the side shoulder shrug that Tedi used to do. He even tried to pull a chair to sneak and do it. After that, he listened quite well. He loves playing basketball and cuddled on my lap. If he wants your food, he raises his eyebrows at you as if you should know that it is what he wants. Sadly, he cried hard when it was time for him to have dinner and get ready for bed. He thought we were leaving him.... Thursday is going to be a very rough day if this is a sign of things to come.

Tomorrow we are going to meet Tedi's birth family. It is an overnight trip in the Ethiopian countryside. We are excited and nervous all at one time! I hope to have the Internet up and working on Monday evening when we return. Keep our trip in your prayers! Thank you so much!

Leaving DC

I am typing this from the Washington Dulles terminal.  There is no guarantee of Internet being readily available until I come back to this same place in a week.  I am excited more than words can express!  There is a large group of college students on our flight.....  The lady who checked us in said she blocked the seat between us so we would have more space....let's see if this holds true.  If so, it would be so so nice.... at least for sleeping purposes! 

Next time I post will hopefully be Saturday night after we have met Chernet for the first time.  I can not post pictures of his little face until we pass court on May 9 (hopefully)!  Have a great Derby Weekend and we will see you soon.... (enjoy a couple of pictures from our night in DC)

Today

*I got of work at 4am and only slept five hours or so... hmmmm, wonder why?

*I wrote cards to Tedi for each day we are gone and got all teary-eyed. 

*We dropped Tedi off with our friends.... their hilarious 3 year old looked at Tedi and said, "Listen here mister, you are coming with us."

*Finished packing....

*Ate ice cream to mask my stress.....go ahead psych people...analyze that coping mechanism.

*We did do some calling to AT&T.  Aren't you shocked that Ethiopia does not support international roaming.. Right, I know you aren't... So, it is $0.50/regular text.  $1.30/picture text.  and $3.50/minute to call.... but there is good news!  You can text JT's phone all you want and we can read them.  You just likely won't hear back from us unless it is an emergency or you have our kid with you!

*Email me if you want/need to communicate.  We will have some access to internet when we are there...we think.  I am going to try to blog if I can.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the support, cards, donations, facebook messages, moments on here.

Enjoy this picture from Emily's twitter or Tedi and Stella tonight.... the Tweet "Tiny toes...To excited to sleep.  #sweetfriends"

 

Day by Day

We leave on Thursday.... yeah, it is pretty soon.  I am so many emotions at one time...nervous, sad, scared, overwhelmed, excited, tired, blessed...and on.... I wanted to give a rough itinerary for a few reasons....just for anyone who wanted to know, for anyone who wanted to pray for that day specifically, and for those living vicariously through us (I do it through other's when they travel).  I am working tonight...my last ED shift for a while... I am hoping for it to move smoothly and quickly so I can then begin processing all of these emotions I have... I appreciate every one's comments and emails!  I will do my best to update during our trip.  I should be able to blog from DC on Thursday night but not sure about after that.  I plan to journal as to not forget....  as if I could.

May 2: Drop Tedi with our friends the Fox family, start malaria meds
May 3: Fly to DC with overnight layover
May 4: Fly from DC to Addis (14 hour flight)
May 5: Land in Addis at 7:15am Ethiopia time, Meet our Son!!!, spend time with the nannies doing some medical teaching
May 6: Travel to meet Tedi's birth family...
May 7: Time at a school and orphanage doing medical stuff....shopping, time with our boy
May 8: more medical stuff, Eyes that See, and time with our boy
May 9: COURT... shopping, medical stuff...
May 10: Take our son for some HIV blood work, time with Eyes that See, Depart at 10:45p.m.
May 11:  Arrive in Louisville at 7pm

This is our rough "American" estimate as country's like Ethiopia involve flexibility and very loose itineraries..  I am mentally and emotionally preparing for the challenge that is before us.... the challenge of knowing I can not save the world but can save the world for one....one at a time.  (I have this problem...just people I know at work).  the challenge of providing medical care with limited resources, little followup... the challenge of being Jesus in all I do in that I will love regardless of station in life, condition of skin, contagiousness of illness, and continue to give and give again. 

please follow our journey.  I promise to be real.  That's all.