OneChild (Guest Blog)

This is my first ever guest blog, and what a privilege it is to do this for Natalie and JT! I love these people. Natalie and I go way back as my husband was her youth minister back in the day. One of the biggest perks of ministry is getting to seek how God conitnues to work in people that you have loved. Natalie has blown me away with how she has allowed God to shape her and lead her! JT I just met face to face last week (seriously), but thanks to facebook, I feel like I've known him for years! I love his heart for God, for serving, for orphans and those in need. And I love that he is willing to take risks for Christ. So, when I was asked to write a guest blog for them, I was thrilled to do so! And because the topic of clean water is fresh on my mind, I thought I'd share a bit about that. 

It's only 29 days away as I write this. My heart already beats a little faster to think about being back in Ethiopia. But it goes wild to think about WHY we are going. Y'all, I just cannot find the right words to tell the joy I find in being a part of taking clean water to the beautiful people of Ethiopia. 

Most of you know our story (because I've told it everywhere I can think of!). But for the few who may not know who the heck I am or what in the world I know about the problem of dirty water, let me catch you up.  My husband (Jeff, he totally rocks!) and I, alond with our son (Bryan- he rocks too!) brought home our daughter (Ellie- yes, she rocks too... duh) in August of 2009. She was almost three years old and weighed in at 22 pounds. She was 32 inches tall. We saw the pediatrician right after she came home and found that she had 5 parasites in her from the dirty water she had been drinking in Ethiopia. We started meds right away to get rid of them, but it took a full 9 months before they were gone. Yes... 9 months of antibiotics. 9 months of stool samples. 9 months of very little growth, tummy aches, you name it.  But here's where the story gets good!  Once the parasites were gone, she grew 12 INCHES AND 15 POUNDS in the following 9 months. (yes, you read that correctly!)

We watched our daughter transform in front of our very eyes, and we were certain that we couldn't just be happy that she was well. There were so many others still in Ethiopia who were hurting and drinking that same filthy water as our Ellie had for so long. We knew their names. We knew their stories. We'd held their hands. We couldn't ignore them. The truth is that God calls us all to care for the orphans (See James 1:27), and our daughter was no longer an orphan, so we still had work to do. 

We began to research clean water. I'm ashamed to admit that it took watching my child suffer before I became aware of the massive problem this is across the globe. The World Health Organization tells us that 2.2 MILLION children will die this year alone from preventable diseas before they reach their 5th birthday. The lack of clean water reaches more than 1 BILLION people worldwide. 

Folks, this is just not acceptable. 

When we learned of our daughter's parasites, we had the blessing of knowing that we had the ability to do something about it. We had doctors, medicines, money to pay for those things. She had a chance. There was relief in my heart when I looked at my tiny, emaciated daughter and I knew that she was in a safe place with access to water that would not harm her. And really, every mother deserves to know the same thing. Every mother in every land deserves to know that she has what is needed to provide life and growth to her children. And shame on us if we don't do everything within our power to help them be able to do that. 

Jeff and I began to research, and we were led to WaterStep, a great group that is working to find solutions for clean water across the globe. With WaterStep, we had found the part of our search for how to clean the water, but we still lacked access to getting that solution into Ethiopia and in the hands of people who would use it. That's where One Child Campaign comes in :) 

One night, I was in bed googling things like "water projects in Ethiopia" and "mission work in Ethiopia" just to see if anyone else was addressing this issue. I came across a blog of One Child Campaign that stated they had been in Woliso- the very town our daughter was from! The blog went on to say that they had a desire to be able to do clean water projects with some of their ministry partners in Ethiopia, but they did not have anyone with that knowledge at the time. I sent an email that night, and within a few days the founders of One Child Campaign, Caleb and Becca David, were sitting in our dining room, having pizza and dreaming big with us. 

It's been one of the most exciting journeys of my life to be a part of this. The first time we were able to install a water chlorinator and witness the people of Ethiopia drink pure water for the first time is a moment that I will never forget. Hearing mothers tell us since then of how their children do not get sick every day, do not have diarrhea every day, can go to school, etc etc because of clean water access is something I will never grow tired of. Seeing people across the U.S get on board with us by praying, donating and going with us has energized me even more. This is God's work. It's holy, and it's beautiful. And I want more of it. 

So...if you're reading this, chances are that you want to be on board too. How can you get involved?? 

For starters, you can become aware of the problem of lack of access to pure drinking water. Second, you can pray for those who are without that access and for those who are trying to change that. Third, you can give. It's no secret that it takes money to do this work. In Ethiopia, a clean water system can be set up at this time for approximately $2500 that will give clean water to limitless people in a community. 

So far, One Child teams have set up  5 systems, and are planning to set up 3 more in May, so your donations are ALWAYS welcome! (go to www.onechildcampaign.com to give). Finally, you can go. Nothing teaches you quite like seeing firsthand te need for clean water. Check out One Child's website and sign up for a trip. There are still a few spots open for our trip in May too! But whatever you choose, do SOMETHING. Lives are at risk here, and there is no time to waste. 

I believe with all of my hear that this is God's work in progress. And I believe that it is about to open wide and blossom far beyond our wildest dreams. Thanks be to God! 

Written by my dear friend and someone whom I admire, Holly Prosser.  Follow them at http://hollybirdswords.blogspot.com/

In the Meantime...

...I have done things like turn 30, present at a conference in New Orleans on HIV in the adopted child, signed my life away to a house, built a support beam to take out a wall in said house (that was a new one thanks to my dad), watched friends bring home their new children, watched our small group from church grow and change, and much much more.

It is interesting when you stop and think of "meantime".... you think you have done so much but when you look back it feels so minuscule....like nothing has been accomplished.  But at the same time...my boys are changing before my eyes.  Every time I blink, they change.  They grow.  Chernet has more English...more love....better behavior.  Tedi is smarter and asking so so so many challenging questions and is so smart.  (If only they could tie their shoes.)  They are both amazing soccer players and love Walker Texas Ranger and the Bible on the History Channel.

So while "meantime" seems so fleeting, its these little, seemingly insignificant moments where life happens...memories are made.  Friends show up or don't...relationships grow and strengthen.  I want to live in the meantime, soak it all up....

I will try to catch up the blog on the big stuff but also write about how the meantime is changing my life.  Over the next few weeks, the blogs that will be coming...

Chernet and Change
Our House: The Difference a Yard Makes for a Boy
Our House...what we have done
What's Next for us
Adoption topics: Should you or shouldn't you, supporting others
On Pregnancy...and no I am not pregnant
Several Guest Blogs
HIV Topics: basics, meds, love, sex

If you think of any topics you would like shared, let me know and I will do it.... also, any questions.....  nataliehenderson21@yahoo.com

Back in the Game

Yep... it has been awhile.  Two months maybe?  And only one post at that.  I need to do better.  I know that.  I think I had a wake up call for my computer time sometime in late January that I was paying a few thousand dollars for my pediatric board test and I should probably start studying....yes the test is not till August but it is a BFD (big freaking deal) and an expensive one.  So I made a schedule and to stay on schedule, well I basically stopped blogging.  I get a little nervous when I get off schedule so there you go.

In the meantime, we bought a house.  Yep, we grew up and purchased a house.  We have painted and done some work and are loving it.  The boys now have a backyard and are typically found killing each other at soccer.  We are now slowing down the work on the house and enjoying life again.

My plan... as I continue to follow the "schedule, I am going to blog again.  Pinky Promise.

Playing the front yard
(at least they are wearing shirts...)

30 Blessings

I guess turning thirty is supposed to elicit some sad feelings of getting older....or so I hear.  I will be honest.   I did not really think about it.  I mean, I realized it was my birthday.  I realized it was the thirtieth.  I did not have some epiphany, life crisis, or changes.  It did, however, allow me to reflect and truly appreciate the blessings and the people I have.  Because let me tell you, there are days when I struggle to see the blessings.  You would not think that ... I have a wonderful husband, two kids from Africa thus having seen some the saddest parts of the world, I have a great job....  Nevertheless, I continually see myself through the first world lens....the lens that depicts me as overweight/fat/whatever you want to call it and this so called lens tents all other aspects of my life.  For example, I think "Because I am overweight, I am not a good enough doctor/mom/lover/mother/friend" or "Everyone sees me as fat and do not see me as a good doctor/friend/daughter/etc...."  I realize that is unreasonable, irrational, that there are bigger problems in this world.  I mean, come on.  I have adopted two children from a third world country.... I have lived in a third world country.... I see kids die.... So yes, I get the world has bigger issues.

Yet as I flew home from New Orleans where I was presenting a poster at a medical conference, I sat there, in between sleeping, thinking "Stop being so hard on yourself.....Get over yourself....look at all your blessings" So here are my 30 blessings....in honor of my 30th birthday.....

1) JT: There aren't enough words I can say. For being social when I'd rather be in my own bubble, being organized and anal in the midst of my chaos. For loving me despite myself.

2) Tedi: for making me a mother, for his gentle spirit and kind words and unconditional love of everyone.

3) Chernet: for teaching me patience and unconditional love. For showing me that I have more energy than I think I do and for a smile that can change your day.

4) My family..... I have a dad and mom who are proud of me regardless and would give me the world if they could and "step" family members who treat me like their own...

5) Work.... while it is not an easy job at times, I am lucky to have a job I love, that challenges me, and work with people whom I admire and make me better.

6) Church.  I attend church at a place that is dedicated to serving.  That is what Jesus looks like to me.

7) My missional community (aka small group)...we don't just get together and boringly read Leviticus.  We actually live life together....funerals, moving, babies, adoptions, celebrations, dinners and struggles.

8) My health.  Yes, I know. I am overweight, but I am lucky to have good health.  I am not in great shape but I have my health.

9) My sister....though very different from me, I can not think about my life without her.

10) Other adoptive families: To see other people living like us and giving our boys a connection to their heritage.  Especially knowing people who get it.

11) My gift of sarcasm: While still learning to be aware of my audience, it is a gift that allows me to deal with the beautiful and butterfly-filled world around us.

12) My medical school:  Yes, I went to a Caribbean school that was expensive and stressful, but I am a doc now and I am a better person for the experience.

13) Greeting Cards: getting them but mainly giving, I also think I've said enough about these on my blog that you get the gist of my love for cards.

14)  Central Air and Heat: Having lived in an environment where I paid for electricity by the minute, I love being cool or warm when I want...

15)  Ice Cream...yes, it contributes to my weight.  I love it.

16)  New Friends... I realize now that each new friend has been intentionally placed in my life and am thankful for what I am able to give them, if anything, and what they are able to teach me about myself.

17) Words... both the words I write and the words I read. While I want to share what is on my mind with those around me, I often have a hard time doing that verbally, and therefore writing is a medium where I can do this freely.

18)Work friends; co-residents, nurses, and even attendings have become more than just friends...they have become more like family.

19) For friends who tell it like it is whether you want to hear it, whether you blush, whether you get pissed, or whether you get embarrassed because it makes you feel good about yourself. I am thankful that there are people out there who will actually put you in your place.

20)  Music.... all kinds.  You should see my Pandora...Zac Brown Band, Wilson Phillips, Matthew West, Sister Hazel, Pink, Michael Buble Christmas.... you get the picture.  Music is memories and each song is a special memory.  So while I am a horrible music, I am thankful for thee

21) Christmas. Santa. Baby Jesus. Family. Trees. Carols. Smells. Love Actually.

22) Old friends...a reflection into my past and have picked me up along the way.

23) First moms... the Ethiopian women who birthed and mothered my sons, before giving me a chance to be their mother.

24)  Diet Coke.... stupid, yes.  But I love it.

25)  Down Comforter....following diet coke, only barely.

26)  Good make up and perfume. I don't consider myself high maintenance in many realms, but I love me some Daisy perfume, Fresh Chapstick, and Dior mascara. (though I only buy it once a year after Christmas)

27) Lazy Sundays. Football games, sweat pants, naps, pizza, and my boys. Enough said.

28) Board prep materials. I'm not thankful for them now, but I hear I will be after October 22nd.

29)  Getting my hair done, I love when someone else plays with my hair, and that I can sit there and not think or worry.  My hair dresser gets mad at me because I only come 3 times a year and my boys go once a month.

30)  My salvation...without it none of the other stuff matters.

Before You Were Mine

A few months ago Carissa Woodwyk, a adoptee who speaks on adoption from her perspective, asked for people to read and review her book that was coming out.  I agreed, thinking, "well, I have read most adoption books, and I have done a life book for Tedi...but what is there to lose?"  I was wrong.  It was such a humbling book.  Even with Chernet, where the details are sparse, it gave me tools to prepare something for him.

Here is the review I wrote for the book.  I encourage you to check it out.


"When I adopted our first son, I was guilty of saving every momento, picture, and piece of paper throughout the process for his "lifebook." It was not until he was home for over a year, in the middle of our second adoption, that I realized this was more than a scrapbook of our adoption. We were going to meet his birth mom and I wanted to tell the real story for him. I did my best but still felt something was missing

I finished "Before You Were Mine" and now feel equipped to do justice to both of my sons' stories, both the one overflowing with information and the one scarce and full of pain. Having heard Carissa Woodwyk speak previously, I instantly valued her opinion, but having that combined with Susan's personal experience as an adoptive mom gave a palpable and real look at the impact of lifebooks in both the adoptee and the adoptive parent's life. Moreover, they integrate the necessity of faith and Christ words into the lifebook in a way that both teaches and gives deeper meaning the child's journey. A must read for all adoptive parents."

Beard for Glory

We have these friends, Lindsy and William Wallace, (yes his name is William Wallace), who have the faith and the patience that I have never seen.  We met them at an art fair where she was with her friend who happened to be the mom of Tedi's classmate... small world, eh?  Then, we became friends, completed our Both Hands together last March.... We love this people...  now it is time to step up and be the friends to them that they have been to us.

Let me highlight their adoption journey:
~ 3ish years ago decided to adopt from Ethiopia...halted for pregnancy
~had baby Meadow and restarted their Ethiopian adoption.....halted because William got cancer
~beat cancer and restarted adoption from Ethiopia......halted because Ethiopia said they could not adopt because of the cancer
~changed to the Congo program and matched with a five year old boy
~this boy was returned to his uncle and in the meantime took in 2 and 4 year old foster sons
~matched with a second child and this boy was also returned to family

Would you blame them for stopping?  I would not.... I can not fathom what I would do in the same circumstances.  Nevertheless, they have persevered.  They had decided to take a break..... and then they were told about a baby girl named Glory.... read the story here: It's a Girl.

The baby, Glory, is not with their previous adoption agency.  They got NO REFUNDS on any of the money spent during the process above.  So they find themselves starting from scratch again...new home study, new dossier, new money.

To raise support to get Glory home, they are doing something totally different.  I know you are shocked that a guy named William Wallace has epic beard.... they are selling $5 chances to see if keeps or gets rid of the beard.... check their blog here: Beard for Glory...please consider supporting them....

Here is the post:
You may not know this, but my husband has the God given ability to grow an "epic" beard.

The epic beard.

I didn't know either until last year when he grew out his beard for 12 full months. Said beard then took on it's own persona. I couldn't go anywhere with the beard without hearing "man, that beard is epic" or "great beard" from every other man the beard and I encountered.

I'm all for beards but I prefer my husband and being married to the beard got a little, well, hairy. I was thankful when the one year mark arrived and the beard had a long dicey encounter with a razor.  

The beard has been gone for barely two months and my hubby is already longing for it's return. So I thought, "How can a girl make the most of this legendary facial hair?"

And Beard for Glory was born.

Here's the deal folks - we're letting you in on a little marital wager. (Are we the only ones who do this when there is a disagreement? The wager part not the public on the interwebs marital disagreement part.)

Visit Beard for Glory and vote with your wallet. $5 buys you one day - beard or no beard.

On Valentine's Day, whoever has the most "days", or votes, wins. The beard grows or it goes for that number of days. YOU decide. The Point - ALL the money we raise gets us closer to bringing Glory home. Our goal for Beard for Glory is $5,000.

Ladies, if you consider yourself my friend, would you please skip your latte this week and buy a day or two for me? You know where I'm coming from right?

HIV Guest Speakers...

JT is the half this marriage that likes speaking....likes anything social.  I am cool to stand back and talk to those I know... However, he forces me out of my comfort zone.... Several months ago he spoke at Highview Baptist Church when they hosted their own orphan care and adoption seminar.  I was working that day, and honestly at the previous 3 he has been involved in.  Finally, next Saturday January 19th, I will be there, in the flesh, not just in pics (like below).

JT and I are leading the breakout session on HIV+ Adoptions in the upcoming seminar on 1/19/2013.... We would love you to come to the conference....if you are interested in adoption, foster care, or serving orphans and widows even if you are not at a place to adopt.  The other sessions include: International Adoption Travel, Transracial Adoption, Domestic Adoption, Healing a Child's Loss and Trauma, Financial and Adoption Processes, Dealing with Infertility, Caring for Orphans as a Family and Church, Local Orphan Care Options, Waiting Child Adoptions, Are You Ready to Adopt.

Check out www.orphancarealliance.org for more info. We would love to see you there.

This Parent's Perspective

I am often thought to be too sarcastic...rough....guarded....bordering on cold....not emotional.  People have said versions of this.  Let me tell you the truth.  These are all a front.  They are a self protective front of which I am fully self aware.  A front for a deeply emotional and sensitive girl...

And this weekend, namely yesterday, I had the wind knocked from me...leaving nothing but bottled, raw emotion. I think we are all affected watching twenty six and seven year olds lose their lives.  How can we not be? I have read arguments and debates and words about gun control....people who homeschool who are thankful their kids don't worry about this scary stuff....those talking about mental illness, incorrectly describing Asperger's syndrome.....this same number of children dying of preventable illness all over the world.... I get all of this. I do.  It is all, well most of it, worthy of conversation.  Just not today, not yesterday.   Say that I am hiding behind emotion, whatever you want.

I just can't breathe every single time I think about it.  I have seen children die.  I have held a dead child and yet tears suffocate me when I think about my own children, five and six year old boys, in schools very much like the one in Connecticut having a round of bullets emptied into their small bodies, stealing the world of their laughter and joy while in a place where they feel as safe as they do at home.

I caught myself being constantly convicted throughout the weekend at my frustrations....the not listening, talking back, fighting with each other, singing inappropriately loud in the car, stepping into yet another person's personal space....and there it went...the air from my lungs... I had to still discipline and redirect and correct but I kissed more heads and was much more patient as we attempted wrapping Christmas gifts and baked cookies and wrestled.

How do you not look at these children, all lost in minutes, not to illness or accident but merely going to school,.... how do you not see your own children...imagine the loss and devastation? If you don't have children....your friend's child, your niece or nephew, god son or god daughter?  Stop for a minute.  Stop thinking about guns.  Stop thinking about your politics.  Stop watching the news (I had to do this).  Stop and let your heart step into the grief you would have if placed in the same situation, the loss of your child, by any means really.  You can not stay there.  The whole of it swallows you and you run to your kids' bedroom and tell their sleeping bodies of your love and listen to their breath and memorize their scent because that brief descent into grief allows you to know it really may be the last time...it just might.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."  Matthew 19:14

New Opportunity

"Change is inevitable.  Growth is optional."

I love this quote.  It sums up the life Natalie and I have been blessed with.  I had a friend tell me the other day that Natalie and I haven't chosen an "easy life."  He told me that he finds strength in the way that we live life.  This was one of the greatest compliments paid to me as our life is not easy (living apart in med school, infertility, adoption, moving 10 times in 8 years, HIV adoption, Natalie working 90+ hrs per week, me balancing a career, kids, church, etc.).  To know that my friend views that we do this willingly, happily (most of the time) and with the goal of loving people is encouraging. 

For the past 2 1/2 years, I (JT) have worked for Family & Children's Place as Associate Director of Development.  FCP's mission is "to strengthen our community through healing the trauma of abuse, violence and neglect and promoting safe, healthy and stable families through research based services."  I have been honored to work with some of the best therapists and counselors our community has.  To see the cycle of child sexual abuse end at our Child Advocacy Center is amazing.  I am humbled to have been chosen to advocate for the most vulnerable population of our community: abused children.  I have seen our community rally around this cause and finish a campaign that raised $11.5 million to open a state-of-the-art CAC dedicated to the treatment of  victims of sexual abuse.  I have solicited gifts that were tens of thousands of dollars and connected many people to our mission.  As I look back on my time, I realize that I am the blessed one. 

As we all realize at some point in life, nothing lasts forever.  For the past six months, I have felt a nudge that said maybe my time at FCP was drawing to a close.  I did not know what the next step in my career would be.  Natalie and I were very prayerful in seeking what a career change would look like.  Most of you know that we are very passionate about our church, The Avenue.  We have been involved in The Ave since its infancy.  It is a church plant on campus at the University of Louisville.  I have the pleasure of serving as an elder here.  

The Avenue has to function differently than most churches.  90% of our attendees are younger than 25.  As you can imagine, our weekly offering is often low.  We joke that sometimes people tithe a half eaten bag of Doritos.  Our goal at The Avenue is to plant churches on 100 secular college campuses in ten years.  Read more about that plan here.  In order to achieve our vision, we have to generate revenue.  I was approached by The Ave staff about coming on board with the task of helping us become financial sustainable.  My title will be Business Administrator and will allow me to wear a number of different hats including: starting an Orphan Care outreach at our church (very cool), mentoring/discipling college students and young adults and connecting with the UL campus.       

Here are some reasons I am excited for this switch:

-I love working with college students.  College students are passionate about "doing" not talking.  They hate the "lip service" generation and want to be the hands and feet of Christ.  They are passionate about social justice.  They keep me young and I hope I can provide counsel and wisdom.
-I get to continue to do what I do best which is helping people find and connect to their passion.  Plain and simple, this is where I find my energy and happiness.
-Pace of life with our family.  This job will allow me to pick my boys up from school every day and have more time at home to help Natalie.  This is priceless to Natalie and me.  Since Natalie started residency, we feel like we are burning the candle at both ends.  This switch should allow a little more margin and rest.
-I get to work with some of my best friends.  Read more about those guys and girls here.

Our family is so excited about this move.  I am saddened to leave behind so many good relationships at FCP but know that I have left this place a little better than I found it. 

I will finish with the best career advice I have ever been given.  It is advice that I strive to live every day and something I have repeated to many of my friends.  I had the pleasure of working for the all-time winningest college basketball coach, Don Meyer.  He has told me at least a thousand times that the key to a successful life is:

-Find your gift

-Develop your gift

-Give your gift away to as many people as possible

25 Days of Christmas

I have shared my trials and tribulations of failed pinterest ideas.  However, in looking about trying to add more holiday ideas to my arsenal since I love Christmas (the secular and the Jesus), I came across the idea of Light Em Up.  Basically, it is doing something each day during the month of December to teach your children to give back to others during the holiday season.  If my children are like yours, they receive more than their share of gifts from family and friends and such.....I thought this was a great idea, and while I am not perfect at it and am learning and trying to teach Chernet and Tedi why we are doing it...

A couple of ideas we have completed....
~ taping quarters to the pop machines at the children's hospital (aka my work) so that the next person got a free soda
~ pushing in carts at Wal-Mart
~ buying the cashier her favorite candy, which happened to be M&Ms
~ writing thank you notes to 3 people for being good friends to us
~ decorating the house on Daddy's birthday to let him know how special he is
~ baking cookies for the nurses at my clinic to thank them for the last three years
~ taking coffee to the teacher who does the car rider line in the cold(ish) weather each morning
~ buying coffee for the car behind us at Starbucks

These are just a few of the "days" we have done so far.  And you know, we do Santa. We do Elf on a Shelf.  But we also do Love of others...and giving back and Jesus.....so if you feel one cancels the other, sorry... I don't hate that my parents that lied to me about Santa...I love every single memory of it...Trust me the lies of Santa are NOT the reason for my adulthood "issues".... but what I did learn from my parents (despite their Christmas "fibs") was giving up so others could have...putting others above myself, my children most of all.   I only hope in small little ways I impart this to my boys as the Christmases and years come and go. 

Memory

When Chernet came home 4 months ago, we did not know if we would ever go out to eat or return to our sense of normalcy.  He was crazy....untamed, resistant to love and to discipline.  That child is one I rarely see glimpses of home...  But I remember them.... I can remember those days... for good or for bad. 

When he started school, he invaded other children's personal space.  He did not listen to the teacher.  He did many many things that pushed other children's limits.  I remember those days.  I feared because of those days my son would not make friends, be accepted or be allowed to move on.

Thankfully children do not have the MEMORIES of adults.... Last week, Chernet had his Christmas performance at school.  They did one song with instruments, one with singing, and one with dance.  As we circled the school looking for an open entrance, Chernet grew more and more excited.  We walked into the lobby and one little boy screamed his name and ran to hug him.  Then, the other door opened and another little boy saw him and screamed, "CHHHHEEERRRNNEETTT" as he ran to hug my son.  I got choked up as Chernet turned to say "my school...my friends" with a huge smile on his face. 

I am thankful that children do not have my memory and really do forgive and forget.  If only we adults operated more in this mindset.  Nonetheless, I am thankful my boy has friends and is moving past things from four months ago....now it is time for me to do the same!

More Family Pics

A couple of blog posts back I posted a few pics from our family photo session.  You really should check out www.lizzieloo.com  whether you are an adoptive family, a bride, a family or whatever.... the pics are great...  Here are a couple of our favs.

Family Evolution....Christmas Card Style

Matched

Yesterday at noon I snuck into a call room with two of my close friends, logged in to the National Residency Matching Program website, and to my shear pleasure, found out that I "matched" at the University of Louisville (where I am currently) for my critical care fellowship.  I know many of you do not know what this means..... basically, I have six months left of pediatric residency.  If I stopped there, I would be a general peds doctor.  However, I want to work in the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) and to do so, I must do three more years of training.  Glutton for punishment?  Maybe. 

Nevertheless, I could not be more excited.  First, I have a husband that will support me through five to seven calls per month for next three years, love me even when I am not lovable, and be both a mother and father at times... (And calls do not mean I sleep at home and answer a pager... I wish.  I spend the night in the hospital and he is home).  Second, I love this city and the friends that I have made here and are staying here.  Third, I could not be luckier to be educated by an intimidatingly intelligent and challenging group of faculty. 

Yet, I am so scared....that I do not know enough, won't be good enough, can not balance work and family.... and at the same time, so ready to learn more, challenge myself even more. 

Frankly, I am just so blessed.  Erica took me out for Thai food the night before.  My friend Sarah brought me breakfast on match day as well as had cookies ready after it was final.  Kasey and Heather brought me cards (because they know of my love of cards).  My boys sent me flowers.  My medical student made butterscotch brownies since I am the only person who buys the butterscotch Lifesavers and she had hear about it.  I was flooded with texts and Facebook messages.  My nursing friends on the med-surg floor bought me great Mexican food and we had a little fiesta.  Shreep bought me a diet coke (very crucial and thoughtful!).  I was on call after the match so JT took my post call day off....we took the boys to a doc appt, had brunch at Wild Eggs, watched the movie Lincoln, and finished up the boys Christmas.  I am overly loved, if you will. 

I mean, it was just a great time.  Some would say "well why make such a big deal, especially if you were kind of, sorta sure you would match there?" A good friend even said as much. That is valid, I guess.  But it is a life changer.  A big decision.  A big day.  And I appreciate those who went out of their way to make my day special and made me feel loved. 

So there it is.  We are staying here in Louisville, at least until June 2016 that is! 

Thankful

It is the eleventh day of November...orphan awareness month, the month of Thanksgiving.  As the month has marched on the past eleven days, I have read Facebook status after status of the things people are thankful for.  It is interesting, for numerous reasons, to see for what people are thankful.  I have not participated in this, though I don't disagree with the concept, but it really has made me consider what I am thankful for. 

I mean, I guess what we are thankful for, in it's most deconstructed definition...are the things that make our life better.  Yes, in my opinion, this can be both good and bad.  I am thankful for the crappy MCAT score in 2005 because otherwise I would not have made the friends I did at Ross and been on the path to being a pediatric intensivist... I am thankful that I did not get pregnant when I wanted to because of the beautiful sons I have now, for the other children that have been adopted as a result, for racial divides that have been crossed....

Yet when I really think about the things I am most thankful for, even the seemingly bad things, are people.  Don't get me wrong, I am "thankful" for the THINGS that make life better.....iPhones and chocolate and 90s music and nice stationary and clean water and my health and Disney movies and diet coke and my down comforter and good pizza and a quality ink pen and my hair after a salon day and Reef flip flops and ice cream and ceiling fans and any kind of dip and perfume and journals and Christmas decorations and my yoga pants.... even the "things" which I value most....the things you run into fire for, that do not have a value on a homeowners policy... all of these are tied to people.....For instance, my blue quilt and handmade corduroy bear were made by grandma who is long gone or Christmas traditions because my mom handed them down or my dad's US Navy dog tags or my dad's family cookbook or photographs, each with their own story. 

I am thankful for a husband who more than tolerates me, more than loves me but does laundry and is both mom and dad more days than not and likes to mop floors and even though he gets mad at drive thrus once a week, which speaks to my cooking and yet another reason he loves me too much, he is integral.  For him I am thankful...  For my mom for teaching to give, to celebrate, to have fun.... and my dad for work ethic and refusal to give up.... and my sister for reminding me not to take myself too seriously....For my in laws and their love of me and my family and encouraging me and helping with our kids.  Daniel and Denise who think are children hung the moon as they throw things across the room.

For my dear dear friends.... Emily for being steadfast and so different from me that it works and Jacqueline for making me demand more of myself and Sarah for a glimpse to my past and Erica for just being easy and the endless ramblings that are comfortable as if we have always been friends.... For Heather in her love for my family and being just like JT and both getting and pretending to appreciate my card obsessions.  And Taryn who loves my boys and is here at a moments notice with coffee and babysitting, even when she would rather be at a Kappa Delta function.  For Eunice and Paige and their role in my becoming who I am as a doctor....for not letting me sell myself short. For Erin, who continues to be both a mentor and friend to me...and Kate for seeing in me something before I saw it in myself.  For Brittney who has seen me through 2 adoptions and loves me despite my inability to contribute any food to any party we have. And Amy for her open door policy and lack of judgment and forgiveness of foul language and telling me I am smart when I am anything but.  My other Britney, who loves me, even when I do not pluck my eyebrows or get my hair cut on time.   These people, and others along the way that I am clearly leaving out....they are the real reason life is better.  They are the real reason to be thankful. 

You see, I have stopped finding it coincidental when I meet someone who changes my life a little or a lot....I have stopped standing in awe when I can connect the dots to how and why I met a person and how it changes my life, the course of my future, and makes the future make sense.  I believe God uniquely and purposefully orchestrated each relationship, each encounter, and we should all take them a little more seriously. 

Days 1-30 of Month of Thankfulness: I am thankful for my people.
(even if I did not list you by name, please don't think it doesn't matter.... I promise you do.)

"Let me be grateful to people who make me happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom "

- Macel Proust

Family Pics

Here is a screen shot of a few of them.... we get the CD this week. We love  Elizabeth at Lizzie Loo.  She did our family pics when Tedi came home, so it was only appropriate for her to do these.  I will post more when we get them!!!!!

Would you?

Would you adopt?  Would you if it did not cost so much money?  Would you if you did not have to answer questions about them being "your own" or about your sex life and it's ability to produce a child?  Would you adopt if you were not afraid of what your family or friends would think?  Would you adopt if you knew they would be "normal"?  Would you adopt if it was easy? Would you adopt a toddler or older child if you were not worried they had trauma in the past....that they wouldn't affect your 'own' kids?  Would you adopt if you were not afraid? 

Take moment.  Would you?

Handwriting and Kevin Bacon

On the evening of the election, I will speak NOTHING about the election. 

I have written about it many times but I have a weakness of giving cards and receiving them.. not emails, not facebook messages, not texts...but the real deal.  I often feel they go wasted and unappreciated but at the same time, the pleasure and happiness I have in picking out each one for each specific person is worth it if there is a slight bit of joy brought to the other person.  Very few people seem to enjoy them, and that is fine.  However, a couple of weeks ago as I sat up in the hospital waiting listen to a kid after a breathing treatment, I found my self flipping through the medically sound magazine of PEOPLE....  You know the last page of the magazine usually has a quick bio story of a star?  Well, this random one featured Kevin Bacon (as I typed his name, I realized how weird it is to have the last name Bacon).... I read this little bit in his article and felt VALIDATED by the Footloose protagonist....
 
"My favorite thing in the world is to receive postcards from friends.  And I trave a lot, so I send them back.  It may be old-fashioned, but when I see someone's handwriting, it's like a little piece of them. And I always love it." 

I feel the same way about the handwriting bit but just feel too cheesy and self conscious to admit it.  I loved seeing my mom sign her name growing up.  I feel a sense of comfort seeing either of my parents' writing on a piece of mail.  JT thinks I am crazy when I do not want to put a return address on a piece of mail.  I, however, find it exciting to guess who cards and letters are from.  I know you are shocked I had a pen pal in elementary school.

Anyhow, if you send me a card or letter or postcard, rest assured it is being saved and treasured, regardless of how insignificant the occasion or as meaningless as you may think....it is in my "card box" that my friend Erica designated in our last move for the collection!  She said it was a little out of control...  every one of them means a lot.

Why We Adopt: The 4 minute version

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Rice Krispies....Nickleback....Pinterest....

Here I am... standing in the kitchen, slinging my purse over my shoulder heading to work when Tedi says,

"What snacks are you bringing to my Halloween party?"

Let's be honest....That question really means "are you as cool as the other moms?"  At least that is how it felt.  I was able to get out of work early and run to the store.  I thought...well I had seen these things are on Pinterest, I surely could make this.  "This" being these little things....

So cute, right?  Thank you Pinterest for again making me domestically incapable and a maternal failure!  I appreciate it.  When cooking, I need specific instructions....ie..." Let them cool for X amount of time before rolling them into pumpkin-esque shapes."  Well, in my haste after work to get from work to the store to "baking" (if making rice krispies really is that) and then to Chernet's doctor's appointment and trick or treating, I did not realize that I was not able to allow for cooling time.  Thus, every time I attempted to roll these, they fell apart in my hand....  So I laid it all out on the pizza tray and realized...I will just turn this into a pumpkin and let the teacher cut it.... and this is what we got...yes, a bit more scary than the happy Pinterest version.....

I wish it got easier from here.... So I throw their costumes in a bag as well as an essential diet coke and somehow got into the car.  As I pull onto 6th Street, I realize this d%$n pumpkin was sliding off the tray in my seat, wax paper and all.  So here I am, driving with my left hand and with my right arm in full extension, quite uncomfortably, holding this pumpkin in place.  Then, Nickleback comes on the radio.  I realize they are one of those groups that you don't like but know every song....but I can't change the channel without sacrificing my car or the pumpkin. I then realize it is not Nickleback but in fact 3 Doors Down...same difference right.  I keep going and finally catch a stoplight.  I change the station and am left the decision....Do I listen to Pink or Katy Perry's divorce music? I chose Pink....why wouldn't you?

I get the pumpkin delivered and the next kid picked up and blood drawn and trick or treating done.... I sit down to post this blog in hopes of making people laugh because seriously, it is funny.  It really is.... the left over rice krispies are in a pan in the kitchen.  My lovely husband walks in and says:

"Dear, you know how toilet paper and ketchup are on the list of things you shouldn't buy generic? Well, can I add rice krispies to that list?  You can spend the extra 30 cents."  I could have smacked him in the face!!!!   Tedi, however, told me they were "AWESOME" and this was the best Halloween EVER....