Because he won't hate me for a few years.....

....I can post pictures leading up to my boy's circumcision when he is 4... Many of you may gasp, be annoyed or get disgusted that I would post pictures before and after my son's penis surgery (not of his actual penis, of course....I have a bit more tact than that, most of the time.)  Frankly, I do not care. The pictures are priceless and they are my life.  REAL LIFE.  It is also another unspoken question of international boy adoption...which about this time last year I got from fabulous husband.

I was headed home from working for the neurosurgeons about this time last year.  I got a call from JT, which was not out of the ordinary for my drive home.... well here is how the convo went:

JT:  So I have a weird question.

Me: ummm,,, okay?

JT: Are we going to get Tedi circumcised?

Me: Are we really having this conversation?

JT, a man, was obviously thinking about this long before I ever thought about it. Well, a year after that discussion, we made that trek.  Tedi, ever the jokester, insisted for the last three weeks that he did not want to have his penis "fixed".  Well, that was until I bribed him, yes a bribe....he could have a new toy if he was agreeable and well behaved.  It did not take much more convincing..

He has done great today.  Our child really is the only one who is not affected by anesthesia.  He was groggy and "hungover" for about 45 minutes.  The minute we walked in the house and popped in Toy Story 2, he was back his old self... with a little more whining than normal.  He has had some funny questions and comments best not posted for the world...let me know if you want to hear them...they are HILARIOUS and priceless.  Enjoy a few snap shots of our day.



in the KCMC lobby, watching Handy Manny




Playing with the cars that the hospital had waiting for him.




Daddy caught this picture immediately post-op; still so handsome



on his way out.



Chilling in the wagon



with his new Buzz strapped to a rocket.

Let's Be Real

He is Mine.

When I hear Tedi say, "My Mommy, I need you" or "Mommy, I love you" or "Yes ma'am, Mommy", I melt.  When I see him hug my friends and give them kisses and hear him sing "Lay 'em Down" to Jesus, I wonder how in the world someone could not love this child based on the color of skin or because he did not "come from me."  Even now, seven months later, I still have people ask me, "Don't you want children of your own?"  I know these people do not mean any harm, especially those close to me who ask.  I know they really mean "Don't you want to have children come your private parts that look like you?" and still, they mean no harm. If you have read any of our blog, you will realize that we did try for about one year to conceive.  I did not seek in vitro or in utero fertilization procedures...I felt called to something different....adoption. (as a disclaimer, I am not in opposition to these whatsoever.  I was just called differently) But that year of trying left a scar on my heart.  A scar that a good dose of kisses from Tedi will mask like middle-aged women and their anti-wrinkle makeup.  However, these words uttered, often in curiosity, cause a slight bit of pain where in the healing scar hides. I often wonder how these people hear Tedi say "Mommy or Daddy" and think he is not actually mine.  I love to talk about my adoption and love entertaining questions about all aspects, even the dirty stuff like this.  However, I still find this question hurtful when flippantly uttered. 

So in rebuttal, Tedros James Henderson is MY son.  He did not pass from my body, was not created by the DNA combo of a Stewart and a Henderson, but was intricately created by the Creator for our family.  He is as OCD as his father and is as loving as me, if not more.  He is as determined as JT and a jokester like his daddy too.  He does not share my chromosomes, my skin color, my hair texture, but if you spend time with him, you know he is ours. 

To answer the initial question, the one everyone either haphazardly asks or wants to.... "Do I want biological children?"   Here is my answer.... If God gifts me with a child of our bodies, I will feel blessed. However, I will not love that child any more dearly than I do Tedi.  I have vowed that I will not let the pangs of infertility, the absence of a child in my womb, steal joy from me another day.  I will not allow it to make me despise pregnant women as it did when I was in the midst of its fog.  I will not allow it to place a wedge in my marriage like it started to do during our struggle.  Thank God for His peace and granting me a heart that now knows of the blessings (and struggles) of being an adoptive parent.   When I look into my son's face, I know there are millions more orphans like him needing a mommy to brush their teeth and kiss their cheeks and feed their bellies. If my inability to conceive (and the pain it created in the past) is what it takes to slowly place the lonely in families than it is the cross I am willing to bear... For  if at the end of my life, I look into the eyes of my children and two are African, two are Chinese, and one is Hispanic, I will not be disappointed that my own green eyes are not staring back at me.  I will feel blessed that I have actually listened to the whispers of a Christ who made me his "own", His "own" child.

7 Months Home (a few days late)

On February 3, Tedi had been home for seven months.  I can not even tell you how crazy that is to me.  It has been a beautiful, exhausting, laughter-filled time in our lives.  Though not easy...definitely blessed change...

With Yemi, at the orphanage

How precious (Thanks Chrisanna for this pic)

7 months Later with Daddy

With T being home seven months, it makes me wonder where the time has gone.  I love this song and thought the lyrics to be fitting....not only with Tedi's growing but with every relationship, friendship, encounter that I have...

It Happens in a Blink

by: Revive

Teach me to number my days

And count every moment before it slips away

Taking all the colors before they fade to gray

I don't want to miss even just a second more of this

It happens in a blink

It happens in a flash

It happens in the time it took to look back

I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time

What is it I've done with my life

It happens in a blink

When it's all said and done

No one remembers how far we have run

The only thing that matters is how we have loved

I don't want to miss even just a second more of this

It happens in a blink

it happens in a flash

it happens in the time it took to look back

I try to hold on tight but there's no stopping time

What is it I've done with my life

It happens in a blink

Slow down, slow down

Before today becomes our yesterday

Slow down, slow down

Before you turn around and it's too late

It happens in a blink

it happens in a flash

it happens in the time it took to look back

I try to hold on tight but there's no stopping time

What is it I've done with my life

It happens in a blink

Indianapolis Mini-Vacation....



Be patient and let me tell you a story. 


August 2001 was my first semester of college.  I signed up for a weight lifting class and in my "jock-ish" way, I wore knee length basketball shorts, two sports bras, a 12th Region tournament basketball tshirt, sneakers, and a ponytail.  I sat waiting for the class, full of mostly the meat-head, Jersey shore type (not a term we used in 2001).  In bounced this girl wearing capri pants, a dressy tank top, and flip flops with huge flowers on them.  Really, who wears flip flops to weight lifting???  Well, seeing my 12th Region shirt, this bubble-y flip flop girl decided to strike up a convo.  So, upon conversing, we realized we kind of knew one another....she was from Casey Co, the next county over from where I grew up.  She was a cheerleader and knew my best friend Sarah.... I, of course, was still too naive to tell her now nuts it was to wear those crazy shoes but thought we could maybe friends.

After that, we slowly became the best of friends.  On my first date with JT, she did my hair and makeup.  We spent many nights in my twin-sized dorm room bed in McCormick Hall, pseudo-studying for her broadcast journalism courses, which were much more difficult than Sociology101. Before we knew it, Thanksgiving break happened and she was engaged.  I was blessed to stand beside her as her maid of honor in a beautiful wedding...  Her husband turned around and performed our wedding a year later.  We are so very different in almost every way.  However, I deeply admire Emily and her parenting.  I value her friendship and enjoy looking back and laughing at her stupid flip flops!

Now, nine and a half years later, we loaded up into her mom's Saturn Outlook and drove our families (yes families) to Indianapolis for an overnight visit to a waterpark and the Children's Museum.  Complicating our trip was the fact that Emily and Jason both ended up at the urgent care center this morning, leaving JT and I to care for all three kids.  I thoroughly enjoyed watching JT dress these two girls, something with which he is not comfortable with.....Boys, yes.  Girls, not so much.  Overall, despite the illness, screaming kids and crappy Indy weather, we all had a great time.  I just hope the Fox Family did as well (and next time we will go south in February) 

Enjoy the pictures.. There are quite a few

About 30 minutes into the trip, this is what we found in the back seat




Matching Wabis (aka...pacifiers)




Beginning of the Chaos



These are our husbands

Waterpark at our hotel

Before the swim

My Favorite Picture

Lazy River

Watching cartoons

Sleeping with his best buddy, Mickey

Vivi bathing while her mommy and daddy were at urgent care

Indianapolis this morning

Check out the Chaos

Getting ready to "dig" for fossils



A Moment of Discipline caught on camera by Daddy



Blown Glass Display

Matching outfits

JT and Jason "Boom.  Powerstance" on the Barbie Runway



I Own this Barbie...JT said I should sell all of these on Ebay



Loving the Indy Race Car

Dosing Off



Finally Asleep



Birthday Bowling

Tedi has a lot friends according to him.  "I have lots friends at my e-school" he will tell us.  However, there is one friend that is different...one from the beginning.... Isaac Meseretu.  (Tedi is not letting go of his Ethiopian name.)  They lived in the same village in Woolyta (*spelling?)  They came to and lived at the orphanage together in Addis Ababa... Now they live several miles apart in Louisville.  Tedi adores Isaac and wants to do anything he does... Well, Isaac's "5th" birthday was last week and to celebrate, Tera (his mommy) and I met up to let the boys have their first bowling experience.  It was hilarious to watch them bowl.  Tedi is so literal that he walked to the line, set the ball down, and shoved it SLOWLY down the alley... only falling once and setting off the alarm.  Evenutally they used the ramp to speed things up.  Following bowling, we took them to Popcorn Station where they ate Peanut Butter Cup Popcorn (and mommy had a few bites)  Here are just a few pictures...the photographer I am not but nevertheless, please enjoy.  I can't wait to get these boys together again.

 Tedi's first bowling experience

 Jonathan, Tedi, Isaac, and Jonas



More Randomness:

Foods that make me happy:
Avocado: it makes anything better....or alone as guacamole
Goat Cheese: whether pan seared or crumbled over food
Risotto
Red Velvet Cake
Bearnaise sauce
Sushi...none in particular
Pistachio Muffins from Baxter's in Somerset KY
Creme Brulee... *sigh*
Butterscotch Lifesavers

Random Fact: I have a weird knack for song lyrics, specifically rap lyrics.  It is unfortunate and at times, embarassing...but true. 

Random Things about Me....

I usually say that I hate doing these things, but let's be honest, I don't.  I think they are really pretty cool.  They let you see a person's idiosyncrasies and in combining answers to trivial questions, allow you to begin piecing together a person...  Or simply, you may not be trying to piece me together but are bored and reading my blog.  Either way, I tried to think of some unique and interesting things about me as well as your routine stuff...

1) How did JT and I meet?  I played flag football for the BSU at Western Kentucky University, and Paul Gibson was my coach.  Before our season started, Paul had us over to his house for a cookout.  That night I met his roommate, JT (now my husband), and he overheard me talking about how I would love to be proposed to on a basketball court.  He tells me now that he knew he would marry me that instant.  I don't know why...I was wearing bad jeans and a long sleeved shirt that was navy on the back and faded pink/tye-dye looking on the front....with bad, ungroomed eyebrows. (I have pictures to prove the atrocity of this outfit)  The next day Paul invited me back over with my friend Sarah.  I was convinced for weeks that JT liked Sarah.  I was wrong.  We did not date for nine months after this, not for lack of JT's trying....now, 10 and a half years after our meeting, it is nice to look back seeing God in the little details, including WKU flag football.

2) How did JT propose to me?  He was coaching a bball camp at his high school, Portland Christian.  My friend Emily knew he was going to propose and kept trying to get me to take a dress to this bball camp, a pink Polo tennis looking dress (I know, insert eye roll).  I refused, of course, opting for khaki shorts, an American Eagle tee and sneakers.  I went to the camp the last day to help him.  At the end, he was handing out t-shirts in the back to all of the kids and I was shooting jump shots with his cousin and brother.  Next thing I know, kids are lined up with signs and Michael Mullins (now in college) handed me purple roses and pulled up a chair.  Michael read a short note, thanking me for being there, and said the kids had a message for me.... each child flipped their sign around ...reading
"I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U-N-A-T-A-L-I-E-W-I-L-L-Y-O-U-M-A-R-R-Y-M-E?"  I still have these signs....

3) What is your dream job?  If I were a competitive pediatrician (any doc for that matter), you would expect me to say "Medicine or nothing!"  But I am not like that.  There are tons of things I want to do...like a fellowship in a pediatric sub specialty and medical missions...  However, when I think about what my dream job would be (and not be joking about working for Food Network), it would be to own a card shop.  If you know me even a little bit, you will have experienced my slightly unhealthy love for giving and receiving cards.  I went to a book store and card shop in Vermont a few years ago which had fabulous EE Cummings and Elizabeth Barrett Browning poems on their cards... I love finding funny cards, cards with quotes, but not cheesy message cards (unless being used for joke and tweaked for a purpose)..and especially blank cards.  I don't believe in sending cards that are laissze faire in all intents and purposes.  Said card shop would serve the necessary basics: water, diet coke, peppermint mocha and pumpkin spice lattes, butterscotch lifesavers, earl gray tea, and weekly creme brulee.  I know, I know, but one can dream, eh?

4) "Favorite" Questions:

Gum: Big Red or Big Chew (old school)

Color: Greens and Blues

Season: Fall

Months: December, February, June, October

Sport to Watch: football

Sport to Play: flag football or basketball

Shampoo: Aveda Color Protect

Mascara: DiorShow

Dessert: Creme Brulee

Holiday: Christmas (first), birthdays (second), Valentine's Day (third)

Childhood Movie: Man in the Moon, My Girl, Cutting Edge

Teenage Movie: 10 Things I Hate about You, "O", Save the Last Dance

Adulthood Movie: Bed of Roses, Bad Boys II, Hitch, Red Violin

Vacation: Disney my senior year, St. Thomas in 2005 or Cruise in 2009

Car: I miss my Jetta...

Drink: Wine, Smirnoff Ice, Screwdriver

Country: Dominica

Flower: easy, Purple Rose

Gift: Tiffany pendant from Jacqueline, Ethiopian bracelet from JT , many many more

Bible Verse(s): Proverbs 31, Proverbs 17:17, James 1:27

US Cities/Towns I have visited: NYC, Chattanooga, Madison, GA, Greenwich, Key West

5.  My Biggest Insecurity: I have two that come to mind....first and foremost is my self image and looks.  I struggle with my weight as I did even back in high school.  Looking back at my much smaller high school size, I wonder how I was so self conscious then and realize that is a state of mind more than a size.  Many days my poor self image in reference to my weight makes me feel like an overall ugly person.  This is a constant struggle that I am daily striving to improve upon.  I am also insecure about my knowledge level at my job.  This insecurity, as with my weight/looks, are both in essence due to comparison of myself with others.  I am glad that God is slowly taking my internal comparisons and using them to show me my "unique-ness".  Despite this, I am often in my self conscious state, just look past me. 

Okay,  I will try to add some of these to each vacation post.  Now to bed in preparation for Tedi's first bowling experience tomorrow with his buddy Isaac Meseretu and my time tomorrow night working on my work presentation with Robin. 

         

         

Day One: Sleep and Shelbyville

Today, my dear husband took Tedi to school so that I could sleep in.  While I could have for sure slept till one or two in the afternoon, waking up at 9:30 was a welcomed change.. Thank you JT!  I was able to workout, drop off dry cleaning and get some gas before heading to Shelbyville.... In Shelbyville, Tedi and I met up with Elizabeth (www.lizzieloo.com) for lunch at the Bell House, pictured below...  OMG, (yes, I do occasionally talk in text), it was so good.  I had a salad and shared a petit cheese cake with E. Tedi enjoyed some potato soup that looked yummy... IThough it took some bribery to get him to finish it... I highly recommend it. Included in the bribery was a stop at the candy store....Tedi picked a candy bracelett out of all the many many options... 

What I have learned today:
"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends we choose."
~Tennessee Williams

Lessons from Vacating Heart:

Stay tuned... I am on vacation and have the goal to blog something about each day. 

Adoption T-shirts.

Valentine's Day is approaching as is my birthday shortly thereafter and there are few shirts out there that I really like.  This is JT's (and whoever else) not so subtle hints.  This is not that I do not love other shirts or am not supporting others.  These are just ones out there I support for friends' adoptions and others floating out there that I want to get my hands on...just a disclaimer

Feeding the Orphans

My friends over at www.feedingtheorphans.com just put out their new shirt to support their feeding program in Ghana.  My main attraction: COLOR.  I love green.  Well, honestly, I love any adoption t-shirt that is colored because so many are brown, white or black.  So the green really grabbed me! 

Below are the Ordinary Hero family.  I love their shirts (esp the blue but they are out of it currently)  I have been looking at these shirts for months and months.  Love them!! 

Happy Valentine's Day from my 147 gals!

(http://www.147millionorphans.com/)

These ladies have the best stuff.  It is normally more than I will pay.  However, this shirt is so special.  Check out their website for the awesome story.  All the proceeds go towards Project Hopeful and HIV adoption awareness.



Baseball with Daddy

I can not sit here and say with complete honesty that these moments were completely fun or a complete success. Tedi and JT are both a bit ADD.  In addtion, Tedi is the kind of kid that if he can not do something perfect, he does not want to do it at all... ie..writing his name, now using a baseball glove to catch...  Nevertheless, it made for some very adorable pictures.  Enjoy

 though we do not catch well, he has a great arm

 where the glove and ball spent a lot of time

learning from daddy



Celebrate Adoption

So because I am awake and feeling well enough to blog again AND because I am not quite ready to write about today's funeral experience (maybe next week)......  For now, I will blog about my fabulous friend and re-visit my pro-adoption blogging. 

In September of this year, I was reading my friend Amy's adoption blog (http://followustoethiopia.blogspot.com/) and admired her pictures taken of her newly adopted son.  Through conversation, Amy told me she found her photographer through Celebrate Adoption, an organization of photographers who help/support adoptive families through photography.  Being in journalism, Amy bee-bopped her way to all the Kentucky listings before I could punch the keys on the keyboard to ask her the question.  Ironically, of the only four participating photographers in the state, one was in Somerset (where we used to live) and the other just outside of Louisville.  Adoption is such an integral and everyday part of my life that I wanted the person who was gifted the opportunity to shoot our family pics to appreciate our son and experience. 

I contacted her in my awkward, you don't understand my work schedule kind of way.  And then stressed for weeks about what to wear.  Then didn't understand why Tedi couldn't wear white...(something about contrast of colors...I don't really know :-) So I am sure on the day she met us she was thinking, "This is the cutest boy ever.  The husband is pretty awesome... This girl is a hot mess and needs to Chill out."  Everything went well and Tedi participated with the help of suckers and Lightening McQueen.

A few weeks later on a random Monday after a stressful lunch at the Cheddar Box (we had to wait 45 minutes for a table and Tedi was runny everywhere) we met Elizabeth at her studio in Shelbyville. Being former NYC residents, JT and I were/are both in love with the studio and her Westie, Leila.  (Not to mention, we loved our pictures.) When you go, you will love it as well.... HOWEVER, I was so scared Tedi would break something that I was holding my breath the entire time. 

Fast Forward to now.  Elizabeth is a very dear friend to me. She volunteered her time to take photos for JT's non-profit event....  She watched Tedi so that JT and I could do dinner in December.  Along with our friends Sarah and Brittney, Elizabeth helped to watch Tedi throughout our recent family death and the arrangements thereafter.  (And even after I type this, I realize it seems like she is doing all the giving.  I really hope it isn't as one sided as it sounds.)  Most importantly, Elizabeth has a huge heart for Jesus and therefore a passion for adoption... and I see this every time she is with Tedi.  But, even if I did not call her friend, I would still recommend her photographic ability.  Her work speaks for itself.

SO FOR YOU..... for those around here, I love my friend Elizabeth and highly recommend you use her for your adopted family pics!  She has an amazing heart for adoption and will love on your kids like not everyone will.  Email (nataliehenderson21@yahoo.com) me if you are interested and I will send you her way.  Her website is www.lizzieloo.com to see all of her pictures.  She also took pics of another family that is connected to my blog who have adopted from the Congo (http://www.millionsofmiles.com).  Check them out!
If you are not in KY, check out the Celebrate Adoption (http://www.bludomain7.com/adoption/).  And lastly thank you Amy Post for a simple conversation months ago that has led to such a fun and fulfilling friendship. 

Some of my favorites (of the many) that you may have seen already in the fall but I wanted to highlight here again....  Love them!

And one of the best...Tedi with his friend "miss E-liz buth".... We all love her!