"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go." ~Anonymous
In light of the death of Elijah James, I can not help but to reflect...to stop...to listen....to hug....to kiss...to appreciate...to be patient...to drive slower....and soak in each moment, conversation, kiss, each goodbye. While I want death's sting to subside with time, I do not want to lose life's depth perception that the loss of an infant can bring. I have found that mourning a baby is more in the loss of what could have been rather than what was. And yet this is why, in some ways, it makes us stop to appreciate each moment more because there is no lamenting the past but rather grieving the loss of a future.
So while I can not fathom the loss of my boy but in someone else's loss I can be less impatient, kiss him more, enjoy the rise and fall of his hot breath in my face, re-enact every Toy Story scene that is without exhaustion. I can remember to hug my friends and tell them I love them. I can do the little things to please JT and tell him how much he completes me. I will try to call my parents more and my sister.
What do you say in a time like this? Nothing. You say nothing. But you learn. Love. Appreciate. And live today.