Friday, January 8, 2010

Apologies and Thankfulness....

I realized late last night that not only my blog post from yesterday as well as many of interactions with others were tainted with negativity and frustrations. Rather than letting go and allowing God to have control over our upcoming homestudy visit, yesterday I became more and more upset as the snow continued to fall.... Laying in bed last night after my friend called me out and JT asked what was wrong, I realized what I had been doing. For this, I apologize. I know this just out there and is not specfic. I have apologized to those who endured me first hand.....

Part of what helped me realize my behavior and attitude yesterday was sadly enough, a tragedy. Working for two neurosurgeons, death is not a foreign concept, especially with inclimate weather. Just before I left work yesterday we got a call about a bad wreck, one guy my age was dead and his friend was being transferred to us for emergency brain surgery. I was too caught up in my own emotions to really appreciate how thankful I should be. After thinking for several hours last night, I realized my foolishness. I started thinking...."I am alive. My husband is alive. My best friend did not die in a car tonight. I did not die. I am healthy and educated and blessed with great people around me. I have a job." Possibly delaying our home study was only a small road bump in this long road of life and of our adoption. THEN WHAT HAPPENS TODAY....JT called and our home study visit is still ON for tomorrow.

So... I hope everyone has a great weekend and stays warm. I will let everyone know how tomorrow goes!

1 comment:

  1. Natalie, Our first home study visit was cancelled due to illness. It was frustrating, but in the end, it was fine. I believe that God works out everything in this process according to His purpose. If there is a stall, I believe it's because you are waiting on YOUR CHILD to be ready for adoption. Trust Him, rather than the system. And believe me I knwo that is hard. I questioned everything at some point in our process. Hindsight is 20/20, I realize. I am praying with you as you wait.
    much love...