Thursday, September 6, 2012

First World Fails....and Fantastics

Jen Hatmaker writes great blogs that I enjoy reading.  The previous two blogs were heavy topics, but were followed this week by a post entitled Not a Fan.... where she highlights several First World things of which she is "not a fan"....hilarious!  (First World: things here in America and the Western world that seem important but in the big picture...AKA: everywhere else....don't matter). 

I did not want to steal her title or completely her idea but I thought I could throw together my own version.  I am a bit witty.  Oh wait, that is cynicism and sarcasm.  I think it is funny.  So here you go, the me version....4 things of which will deem FAILS and 4 which I will call FANTASTIC.  (knowing that these are still "first world" and matter nothing to my existence but sometimes make existing easier...I know this because I have been elsewhere...No judging here)  There is no Mother Teresa, who I adore, here but more like

So here you go......

1) YouTube.... Fantastic
Yes, I will concede that there are weirdos out there that post things.  Yet on YouTube, you can watch music videos, post videos for family to watch, see movie trailers and clips, view part of TV shows and of course watch other peoples' ridiculousness.  Yes, YouTube, you are indeed a First World positive.

2)  Diet Coke.... Fantastic
I would like to state that I am not overtly addicted to caffeine (JT may disagree).  However, I thoroughly enjoy the carbonation.  I find nothing better than a carbonated, caffeinated, cold diet coke.  This is a win at any time of the day.  Thank you, Coca Cola.  I appreciate you.

3)  iPhone apps.... Fantastic
My favorites that definitely make my life better..... Pandora, Lexicomp (pharmacy), Sleepmaker (I am like Pavlov's dog when I turn this on), Amharic translator (yeah, I think I just tell myself this), Weather Channel, DisneyStore, DisneyJunior FREE, RedBox, Instagram.... Love these and I am sure I could more that I would love.  These do make our First World lives easier. I appreciate them.

4) Cards.... Fantastic
I had to toss this one in here.  I love them, all brands, especially the unique boutique-y ones....especially the ones with quotes....and ones that flirt with the line of being overly inappropriate.  I love getting them.  Even more, I love getting them.  They say "I was thinking about...when I bought it, when I wrote in it...and when I gave it to you..."  Much more than an email, a text.... I love these.  Enough said.

(oh, don't go and get offended.  these are fun)
1) Stick people decals on the backs of cars..... FAIL
I am sorry if you have them.  Well, no I am not.  They just really annoying me.  We even designed ones on a night shift, jokingly, for the variety of family combinations we see at the hospital.  They don't see these in stores.  And where do you buy these?  I don't just run into them in everyday shopping outings at Kroger, Wal-Mart, or Target.  It must take work to find them.  And yet, they are everywhere.  I mean, seriously? 
2) TLC's shows about the worst part of America.... FAIL
Toddlers and Tiara, Honey Boo Boo, Hoarders, Sister Wives, I Didn't Know I was Pregnant, etc....
Train wrecks that once you start watching you feeling coerced into continuing.  You become a little less intelligent with each passing scene and you wonder if these people are actually real...We have failed ourselves yet we can not turn away

3)  Handling Raw Chicken.....  FAIL
I can sew people and cut them open and put needles in them and tubes and lines...put having to handle raw chicken makes me a bit nauseous.  I do it...I mean I make pretty good panko fried chicken so I do it. I HATE IT.... I will even pay extra $ for the trimmed chicken. Then, if you freeze it, those white linings on the bottom of the paper are stuck to it.  You are hosed trying to get that off.  JT enjoys watching this....or rather watching me be frustrated with it.  Yes, maybe it is not the chicken that fails but rather Natalie.

4)  Wire Hangers..... FAIL
I see all these people posting on facebook asking for wire hangers for kiddie consignment sales.  Nothing will make lose my religion quicker than when several wire hanger get stuck together.  And those damn beloved dry cleaner continue to perpetuate this problem.  Oh man, I can not stand these.  Then, try stepping on one at a weird angle.  Yep, these are epic fails in my humble opinion. 

*I left out car pool line numbered decals... I can not even get started on this.
Okay, I realize I am not nearly as funny as Jen Hatmaker but these are definitely a change in pace and thought.


  1. Natalie....I too DESPISE touching raw chicken.....In fact I have gotten rather crafty in figuring ways not to touch it!! My dad and Ben nearly fall to the floor laughing at me at times! Emily

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. You had me a car family decals:FAIL. I despise those things, for whatever reason. Jeff feels even more strongly about it than I do, oddly enough. In our 19 years of marriage, it's the only thing I can recall that he has ever asked me not to do. No problem.

  4. i've said since they first appeared that car family decals are racist!! and heaven forbid if you're a foster family, what are you supposed to do, stick & peel off everytime?!