5 Million Minus 1

So I resisted for a while but I gave in today. I added a music playlist to the blog. JT did not want one at first, but we both love music.... Finally, today, I had some time and added a playlist. For now, it is all Christian music. I wanted the playlist to be positive and refreshing. I have a blog that I have kept since starting medical school (http://nataliesmedicalschool.blogspot.com/) and on there, I have more of the other music I listen to....hip/hop, pop, alternative, and the like. I hope you like the music on here. I did not make it an automatic start so you can control if you want to listen to it. Enjoy~

There is nothing new going on in our adoption world. Now we are waiting for all of the paperwork for the home study to finished. They are waiting to receive our NY state child abuse check. Next weekend, we have adoption training, which we are very excited about! We get to meet other families within our agency at different points in the process. Though long, it should be lots of fun.

Lately, with the adoption and some other struggles I have been going through but do find it necessary to share openly, I have been doing a lot more thinking and praying than I had been. Before, I was going through the motions without much thought However, I was thinking today....We only get one life. One chance to make a difference. THAT IS IT. Going into residency as a pediatrician, adopting one or two children, being married, trying to save money and make money.....all of this is exhausting. But I can't imagine the day I stand in heaven and God asks me, "Natalie, what did you do with your life?" And all I can answer..."well I worked hard and slept in and traveled and made lots of money." While all of this is good and fine, I want to have done something more. I know I will be tired and stretched and at times, without tons of money, but I do have faith that I am going to make a difference. All of this makes me think of one of the songs on my place list "Its Your Life" by Francesca Battistelli. The chorus says....
"It's Your life; Whatcha Gonna do.
The world is watchin you.
Everyday, the choices you make
say what you are
and who your heart beats for
It's an open door
It's Your life"
The song goes on, but I think the point is made. We are here but for a fleeting moment...in my occupation this reality is palpable. If I can not make a difference, through adoption, the way I treat people, my relationships, my intimate friendships, my giving, my example.....if I can not influence one person for the good, what has my life really been about. And though I get down frequently about the little and big struggles in life (waiting for a referral, doing adoption paperwork to paying what seem to be insurmountable student loans and finding the right residency), I know that I am on the right path. I know I am doing what is right and what I am called to do.

Sorry this has been a bit of rambling but I am writing what is on my heart! I am excited because I get see one of my very best friends tonight and tomorrow. It will only be for a short period of time tonight and tomorrow, but I am so thankful to see her and to have her in my life! Hopefully it turns out to be an enjoyable weekend....plus the NFL playoffs are on Sunday....and JT and I love Sunday football together!
Have a good one
~natalie