Cropped....

I am a master cropper.... I do not like pictures of myself.  I can see every flaw....look at all the lumps and creases and feel horrible about myself and yet miss the joy in the picture... the moments, the love, the laughter.  Frankly, I will even volunteer to take the picture rather than be in the picture.  Last week I read an article HERE that talked about NOT wanting to photographed because of insecurities.... These quotes really hit home for me... even as it pains me to opening admit it...

"Seeing myself in pictures actually produces the faintest sick feeling in my stomach. Isn’t it amazing we can see the beauty in our best friends, sisters, mothers, and aunts without the slightest thought to their flaws . . . but can obsess for hours on our own imperfections? We fixate on our flaws to the point we shirk at any documentation that our round faces and curvy bodies ever walked the earth. No pictures to show how we LOVE, how we laugh, how we are treasured by our families. How is it possible that a double chin can overpower the beauty of a mother cuddling her child? How does arm fat distract from the perfect shot of a spontaneous hug? I swear y’all . . . how is it that we can put more value on a TUMMY ROLL than the captivating way you throw yourself into a roar of laughter during a shoot? "

Then this part hit me more than above: 

"Can we acknowledge that the insecurities we have in our heads will never be a part of how our children, husbands, and friends see us? Can we just please let our loved ones remember the YOU they love. Your children want pictures with their mom. Your husband wants pictures with his beautiful wife. Your mom and dad want pictures of the happy, successful, amazing woman they raised (ok, and more pictures of the grandkids while you’re at it)  And if you’re thinking that high school friend on Facebook will say to herself (“wow she has gained weight”) then . . . newsflash you DID. You gained weight. Shed a tear. Read a book. Drink a Sweet Tea. Watch Oprah. Whatever it takes. Accept this reality . . . YOU GAINED WEIGHT. The truth is you’ve gained a lot of other things too (a career, a family, some kids, a house, a love for travel, the ability to coordinate your separetes . . . ) and that girl from high school is going to spend a lot more time hating on those things then she ever will on your double chin. So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed? . . . Ok. But you’re the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you."

I read this earlier last week and found myself at my friend's wedding this weekend...in the wedding and at the rehearsal dinner.  How in the world could I get out of pictures.  Moreover, this friend AND her finance are photographers.... This article creeped into the back of my mind.  Was I going to miss out on all these pictures with my wonderful boys, loving husband and laughing friends.  So I gave in and I did it.  I took pictures.  Because I decided the more I was okay with myself and how I look, I may start believing what others say.  

So here is this girl....a pretty girl, I think, loving the boys in her life, loving her childhood friend....loving herself