I don't always get home before dark. I spend most of my time caring for your kids (Your = everyone but mine). I clean their cuts, sew them, listen to their hearts beating, their lungs breathing...... I write notes about them and listen to all their adventures....all of this I love...I love my job. But today....today, I played with my boy. I spent about two hours at work this morning....playing with healthy babies in the newborn nursery, ran to a meeting, and came to start laundry. At lunch with my friend, I decided with great excitement that I would take Tedi to the park and he could play...I could "exercise" and play with him.
So in theory, I bee bop up to the parochial pre-school all ready to go. Then I realize I am in sneakers and yoga pants but still have on my work shirt and regular bra..... seriously, who does that? Me = hot mess. So then I get home and find out we need to fix a couple of dossier things... I get distracted. So at three o'clock, we finally arrived at Waterfront Park.
To kick up the exercise a notch, I thought "we can jog. Tedi likes to run. I know it has been awhile but I used to play sports" Well we successfully jogged.... and I realized something quite profound.... from this point forward, I will be staring at my son's back as we run. Even at five, he is out running me. Maybe I should be a little more dejected about it but I felt relieved....that he will be athletic and fit.... that I am exactly where I thought I was athletically (which does not mean much).
We finally get to the other playground. I can't quite enjoy it. I encourage Tedi to be tough and "Yes, you can climb the rock wall!" All while my mind is racing...."If he slips, he could get a concussion...or worse a brain bleed.. He could fracture his femur or arm or worse we could be in ICU... then what would my colleagues think. I would be that parent." And those thoughts were just at the rock wall. Don't worry, if I ever spend time with your kids, my mind is racing with the same thoughts....about what could go wrong next and as the doctor, what would my next step be.... I am not neurotic about much but this I am.
Then, I think that we should swing... Tedi is not interested... Yep, the ole arse doesn't quite fit... Maybe the Mary Kate Olsen version of myself hidden DEEP within me would... .not this mommy. I shamefully stand up and suggest a jog back to the car. This kid won't let you walk... It's like running is in his Ethiopian blood. Jog = sprint. Maybe someday this will bode well for him. Gotta love the kid... "Mommy, why do we walk. Let's just run" Me: "dear, we can't. Mommy can't breathe"
We get home from the park and I am preparing a talk for the medical students on "Circumcision in the newborn nursery" .... I don't really think anything about it.. It's everyday. Tedi walks up and says "Mommy, whose penis is that?" What do I do? Explain it and keep going...
I hope you have a great week. Don't be fooled. Most months are filled with 80 hour weeks with 30 hour shifts... Not this one... I will toast to a month of fat, healthy newborn babies and time with my own!